Episode 56

There is A Darkside, Too

On today's episode of the Becoming the Big Me Podcast your host Djemilah Birnie talks about some of the darkside of business. While it is important to stay positive, it is also important to stay aware. Remember, the law of polarity states that all things have an equal and opposite in exsistence. Moving with awareness allows you to navigate around some of those potential obstacles.

When I fist got started in the markting world years ago it was because I was tired of watching my fellow business owners get taken advantage of. As I grew the ladder in my own life, my eyes were opened to so many unfortunate truths in the online industry. While I believe there is sooo much good - there is a darkside too and if I could give my younger self one peice of advice it would be to be aware, instead of hiding from the reality with positivity.

Hi! I am your host Djemilah Birnie of www.becomingthebigme.com . I have been building businesses online since the age of 17. When I discovered the power that we hold within our own minds my world truly began to change.

I love to write and have published some books, some of them have even hit some charts 😲 You can check them out here Djemilah Birnie

Ready to start playing BIG and step into your Big Me potential by harnessing the power of your mind? Then make sure you join the free Rewire challenge to get all the tools you need! https://www.djemilah.com/rewirechallenge

Don't forget to check out the little lady's podcast "A Kid's Perspective" where she answers your questions on all of life's most pressing issues, in her eyes, a kid! ‎‎A Kid's Perspective on Apple Podcasts

Let's Connect! #allthelinks ⬇



Djemilah (@djemilah) TikTok | Watch Djemilah's Newest TikTok Videos


Hello, fellow Earthlings, welcome to the becoming the big me podcast. I'm your host, Djemilah, Birnie. And together, we will be stepping into our highest potential, exploring all things mind, body, and soul. With justice major business, you're a spiritual badass solopreneur and a warrior for change, you're ready to expand your impact and leave your old self behind in order to raise your vibration so that you can positively influence your business, your community, and ultimately, the world. Without further ado, let's dive right into it.

Hello, and welcome back to the becoming the big meat podcast. I'm your host Djemilah Birnie. And today,

this episode is a little overdue.

I want to talk to you guys about something that I haven't known exactly how to talk about, for many reasons. So I haven't really slept. But I woke up this morning, it's like 630 right now I'm outside. So if you guys hear some birds chirping or some wind blowing, that's because I'm outside because I don't want to wake up everyone else in the house.


just enjoy them. Um, so

for all, you know, legal purposes.

I recently may or may not have witnessed, I don't know, some something that happened between two parties. For the for the instance of this podcast. We are going to be using a story. Okay. We're going to be using a story of how some beavers Okay, okay. We're all on the same page. Right? We

are going to tell you a story about some beavers on this podcast.

All right. I mean, I I'm being a little bit silly here. But in all, you know, seriousness, it's really unfortunate because we live in a place where we are supposed to have this ability to speak right where this ability to share our thoughts, if we see something wrong, if we see something that happens in front of our eyes, that is wrong, we have the ability to talk about it. Now. That's not always the case. Unfortunately, in our world, there are many, many people, there are many, many individuals who are getting away with really, really bad stuff, just because they have money. And they're able to use this money as a scare tactic to basically bully other people and get what they want. The story I'm going to be telling you guys today about our beavers is a story of something that I have witnessed in the business space multiple times, I have seen this so many times. And unfortunately due to, you know, laws due to the way that things are due to, you know, cease and desist. If you have money. If you have enough money, you can get any of the lawyers that you want. Right. And and that's just that. So I have a long intro. But you guys, today is a serious episode because this is a serious topic. This is something that needs to be talked about. Unfortunately, it's not talked about enough. Because when people do speak out, when people do stand up for themselves, when people do try to see something they just get squash, they just get silence, not squash but they get silence because money can silence people. Okay, so it's, it's sad, but it is a reality and it is one that I feel like is important to share, because not enough people do share these experiences because they cannot because they are caught in a legal stranglehold. Whether they are having their family threatened or they are the providers for their family or they're having different you know, these different things. This happens all the time, all the time. Good time, and it's not okay. And it's I don't know what we can do about it. Because obviously, you know, there are different laws or slander laws, and it's not okay to just be going out, right, and just like talking bad about someone. However, if you are in business, and you have a business interaction that does not go well, I do not believe that those people should be protected by any kind of, you know, slander law, or, you know, that kind of thing, people should be able to share the experience with our business owner without business with that company, for really, without the fear of getting a text in the middle of the night, you know, not to not speak, or you will get sent, you know, legal action, right? Like, that's not okay. as business owners, if we have a negative experience, like as consumers, as consumers, if we have no negative experience with a business, it is our right to be able to share that, to be able to share that and express that with others so that other consumers know, the product or, you know, company that they're dealing with, and they can then make their, you know, choices from there. Now, when a negative thing happens, you know, on a higher end between, you know, maybe businesses, you can't really shit, you can't, there's no checks and balances there. There's no checks and balances, once we get to past a certain point of success. Because we have, we can write our contracts in a way that stranglehold people and put them in a position where they literally are not allowed to say a damn thing about anything, and they sign something. So in their contract that has, you know, a little fine print that, hey, even if we don't deliver our services, you're not allowed to tell anyone that we didn't deliver.

And then when they you know, someone pays them, you know, $10,000 or whatever, what have you, and then they deliver something that is horrible. And then that person comes back, and is like, Yo, what you delivered is horrible. That person goes, Oh, that's fine. That's fine that you feel that way. However, I met my contractual obligations. And if you say anything negative about our business, look at this clause here, I'm going to invoice you for 100 grant. And that's how bad companies stay around. Because they do that. And I've seen it, I've been in the marketing space, you guys know, I've been in the marketing space for a while. And I have seen this consistently, consistently from marketing agencies like most of the big, most of the big guys out there, they have some kind of stranglehold clause in their contracts that every single customer of their size, so their customers cannot leave honest, reviews cannot leave honest. Feedback from their experience without getting hit with $100,000 bill. Most people cannot do that. So they are silenced by fear. Okay. That's just, that's, that's just, you know, one of the things that I constantly see in the business space, that it's just not okay. We need to be able to speak up, we need to be able to share our experiences, without fear of being silenced from people with more money than us. Plain and simple. We need to have that right. That is our right, as Americans, as you know, citizens of this country, that is our right to have the ability to speak at your experience with a business without fear. That taking away our entire livelihood, wiping away everything from our family. Like, it's absolutely ridiculous. I don't know how we fix it. Like I have no clue how we fix it. Let's just be clear. I'm not trying to say I have the answers. I'm not trying to say I know how to fix it. I'm just saying be aware of it. Be aware of what is going on because when you have the awareness, you are able to move forward with so much more grace than he is okay. So if you are a business owner, and you are looking to hire a marketing agency, anyone doing any kind of marketing for you? Um, there's a couple things that you want to look for one you want to look for. Do you own your data? Okay, that's it. Kind of a silly one. But do you own your data, I can't tell you how many marketing agencies will charge you charging you, you know, couple grand a month. And they don't even let you keep your data. They're using your money to build their data. They're using your ad spend, they're using your money, your retainer, to build and compile their lists of data, their list of emails that they're going to use for retargeting for other stuff. You know, they're using your data, and you're paying for it. And then what most people in general, this isn't every agency again, this is just something to look for. This is something to look for questions to ask before you hire any of these kinds of people. So Gosh, I forgot my train of thought. Okay, yeah. So do they? Do you own your data is number one, and then how you check for that is when they're installing, like the pixel or Google pics, or Facebook pics, or any of those things? What account is that? Under? What account? Are the ads being ran under? Are you paying your adspend directly to the platform? Are they factoring in your ad spin numbers into their retainer? Okay, I personally prefer when the ad spend is separate from the retainer, because that gives a level of transparency to the business owner where you are being billed for your ad spend directly to the platform. So you know every penny that is being spent, and it should be on your ad account. So that data is owned by you. Okay, that's number one. Number two, is is there a stranglehold? Is there a stranglehold clause in the contract? How many of you guys actually read contracts? Okay, I that's about what I thought probably not that not that many. Not that many. You guys need to be reading your contracts. Okay.

This is important. I

write contracts all the time. I'm telling you, it's important to read those things. I know, they're long. I know, they're long. I get it, I've had to write them. But you got to read those suckers. Because seriously, like, you'll be given someone's hunger. You said give someone let's just you know, let's just say you're giving someone 10 grand to build you an ecosystem to build you. I buy an ecosystem, I basically mean like a landing page, like back end CRM conversion system, like all of that good stuff, right? So you're paying someone 10 grand to build you an ecosystem, they deliver, they build the thing, but it sucks, right? It's horrible. And broken, or I don't know that I'm just like making this up. Okay.


then you're like, Yo, this isn't what I wanted. I thought it was ecosystem, like you told me this ecosystem, you know, was this, like, why does it suck? And by the way, you've spent this much money and as how come we haven't gotten any leads, right? And then they're, they can be tried to make, they can do several things depends on if they're in a contract, they could be like, Yo, this didn't work. And I see that the quality isn't working. I need to get out of my contract. This isn't working. And then they'll be like, Oh, hey, yeah, actually, No, you cannot do that. If you try to break your contract, contract, you're going to be charged 100 grand. Or, or they could also have a stranglehold clause that inhibits you from being able to, to share or to tell anyone. So you made let's say you hire this marketing agency that you've heard great things from about on Facebook, okay, you hire them. And, and, and you pay them $10,000 and they build you something and it sucks. And you say something publicly about how it sucks. Okay, or you say anything publicly like about that business that is negative then they, they could not saying everyone loves but there's something to look out for because it's way more common way more common than y'all would think. If y'all start reading some contracts, so that your minds are gonna be blown how often this is actually in contracts that you may or may not be signing. But if you say anything negative, we're just gonna send you an invoice for $100,000 who has that? Who can do that? You know, and so that is their way of silencing people without like silencing them. It's like, Oh, I'm gonna bill you for your speech. If you say anything negative. That's just one thing. And that wasn't even the story that I wanted to tell you guys this morning, but honestly, like a lot of this stuff I've been holding inside because I have you been scared? Because I personally have been scared because I personally have witnessed many things that are not okay. And I personally am not allowed to talk about them. I personally am not How to warn people of, you know, certain people in the industry who were doing shady things, I'm not allowed to, if I do my livelihood, my daughter, my family, my business is in jeopardy. And that is not okay. And it's just not okay. We should be able to share these experiences, honestly, this this podcast without me even going into any details about anything, just being very broad, I guarantee I'm going to get some kind of communication. Because that's just the way that it works. So, guys, I just want you to understand, like, read your contracts, bro, if you're going to be hiring people, and it's not just marketing agencies, like I just have been in the marketing field for so long. And I have known so many other agencies and been involved with many other agencies to my time in the marketing space. I've just seen it way too much. I've just seen way too much then since with me wasn't at contractor like that kind of situation. Exactly. But it is a very similar situation where, you know, money is used as a silencing tool. And that's just not, you know, that's, that's, that's against everything that I stand for. I believe that, you know, every individual has a voice, I believe all of our voices are important, no matter how much money you have. And and if that person over there has more money than you, that doesn't make their voice any more important. And if that person over there is going to try to use their money to influence him to sway your voice. That's just not okay. This is not okay. And I'm, I'm not even going to tell the vivre story right now.

To be honest with you guys,

because, yeah, I'm tired. I woke up at 630 this morning, I was like, I just need to record this for you guys. And I feel like this is enough

of a rant for you guys to

for you guys this morning. And also, for me this morning, because I yeah, it's been a very like, I know, I probably don't sound like my typical. So right now. And I hope you guys actually can hear that and see that because I feel like very confused. I feel so confused right now. Like, gosh, I tell you what I love to talk I love to share, and I love to express myself. And I'm also have like very, very strong like, I will stick up for what is right and what's wrong, right, like moral compass, I guess that would be called like, I'm not good at just watching someone do something and staying silent. Like I have to speak up, I have to step up. And right now, I'm in a position where I don't know what I'm allowed to say, I don't know what I can say. And I want to warn people, I want to, you know, tell people like, Hey, be careful, like, hey, these things happen, hey, these things are real, hey, pay attention to this, you know, and I want to tell you guys that and I have just felt like I can't, to be honest, I have felt like I cannot share the the the things with you that I want to I can't share, you know, the experiences that I'm recently going through, I'm not allowed to share those recent experiences with you. And that makes me sad, because I would really enjoy sharing them with you and I, I know that you guys would receive a lot of value of how to how to discern in the business space and just how to, you know, handle these kinds of things. And, and I want to be able to share more, but I feel I feel trapped. I feel like I'm not allowed to, you know, I I've got my I've got my baby girl, you know, I've got my business, I've got things I care about. I've got, you know, homeless kids to help and to save, like, I've got things to do. And, and the fact that you know, just because someone has, you know, a lot of money, or more money than me makes it so that, you know, I'm not allowed, like I can't feel like I can express myself fully. I can't feel like I can share these things that I am so passionate about. Because I don't want to see other people experienced these types of things. And I just can't I'm just I like I'm having my hands are tied right now. And it making me feel like honestly, it's I kind of Taryn making me feel like queasy almost to five, because I just, I just don't know how to word things in a way that is one going to get the message across to you guys, and help you. So you can understand what to look out for and so that you can understand how serious, you know, sort of things are. How do I express that? Like, how do I get you guys to know that? And then to how do I warn people? How do I warn people of, you know, these kinds of experiences for these kinds of, you know, for these kinds of businesses? How do I tell people like, Hey, you probably don't want to do business without business? Like, how do I how do I do that? I don't know, if I'm even allowed to, you know, even if I make a any kind of slight reference, you know, like, I just don't know, I just don't know, and I feel lost a little bit. But I really wanted to share that with you guys. Just at least so you know, kind of what's going on. I don't know if it matters. But anyways, so y'all, there's a lot, there is a lot to pay attention to in this world. There are going to be obstacles, they're going to be people, there's none of these things that come in your way. But what I want you to remember is that you have the power to overcome those obstacles, no matter what life throws at you. This obstacle that I'm currently experiencing or not experiencing for I don't know, for legal purposes may or may not be happening. For legal purposes, I may or may not be a delusional person, right now, I don't know what's going on. But no, seriously, that's like, that's how I feel like I have to speak like, that's how that's how I feel like I'd be able to even express myself

a little bit. But you guys, read your contracts. Don't take our business partners. Oh, that wasn't what this podcast was about. That was just another thing, just getting big contracts. Be very, very careful that the people that you work with, like, obviously, but understand that even if you are vetting the people that you work with, if they're really bad, you're not gonna find anything negative about them, because they probably just paid to cover it up. So yeah, just keep that in mind. Anyways.

Thank you for tuning in to today's episode of The becoming the big me podcast. If you found value in today's episode, make sure to leave us a review and share this episode with someone who needs to hear this message. That's how our podcast grows. Are you curious about learning more about harnessing the power of your subconscious mind. then join the free rewire challenge where we'll dive deep into the subconscious mind how it works and give you some tangible action steps to began rewiring it to serve you go to bit.li slash rewire challenge that bit.li slash rewire challenge. Until next time, I'm your host Djemilah Birnie, signing out

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