Your Kids Imitate the Energy Around Them
On today's episode of the Becoming the Big Me Podcast your host Djemilah Birnie talks about parenting, your kids, and how influential your personal energy is to the entire experience. More often then not, when your little is acting out of sorts, they are being influenced by outside energies.
Hi! I am your host Djemilah Birnie of www.becomingthebigme.com . I have been building businesses online since the age of 17. When I discovered the power that we hold within our own minds my world truly began to change.
I love to write and have published some books, some of them have even hit some charts 😲 You can check them out here Djemilah Birnie
Ready to start playing BIG and step into your Big Me potential by harnessing the power of your mind? Then make sure you join the free Rewire challenge to get all the tools you need! https://www.djemilah.com/rewirechallenge
Don't forget to check out the little lady's podcast "A Kid's Perspective" where she answers your questions on all of life's most pressing issues, in her eyes, a kid! A Kid's Perspective on Apple Podcasts
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Hello, fellow Earthlings, welcome to the becoming the big me podcast. I'm your host, Djemilah, Birnie. And together, we will be stepping into our highest potential, exploring all things mind, body, and soul. With justice major business, you're a spiritual badass solopreneur and a warrior for change, you're ready to expand your impact and leave your old self behind in order to raise your vibration so that you can positively influence your business, your community, and ultimately, the world. Without further ado, let's dive right into it. Hello, hello. Welcome back to The becoming the big man podcast. I'm your host Djemilah Birnie. And today I want to talk to you guys about how your kids imitate the energy around them. And what I mean by this is, I mean, you I mean, your kids are the mirror to your energy and what you're feeling. So the reason why I want to bring this up is because I recently had to make a decision for my family. And that affected you know, me and my daughter and my family, me and my daughter, right? That's my little family, my little world, right? And, um, and a big reason why I made the decision. And the choice that I did is because if I on the other side of the coin, if I were to not make that choice, I would not feel safe, I would not feel good, I would feel uneasy, and all of these other things that really affect me, but at the end of the day, truly affect my daughter even more, because then that's the experience of her mother that she gets for me and, and then she is going to end up as a byproduct as a side effect, feeling all of those things too. So, it is extremely important as parents or as caretakers or just in general just throughout life, the we are making sure that we are taking care of our needs. And then we are making sure that we feel safe and secure and solid and that we are giving ourselves the self care that we need and that we deserve. And then we are filling up our own cups. Because guess what the people that look up to you in your lives, they see that, and not only do they see it, but they imitate it. And what ends up happening, and it sucks. It's it's really a bummer that it works out this way. And I don't make the rules. I wish I did. But it's just the way that it ends up working out. But when you and you know in a sour mood when you end up in a bad space, because your boss did this, or your client did this or XYZ happened at work or you're with your spouse or whatever. And now you're in this space. Well, guess what? You had a little ones here are kiddos or they pick up on the energy and they feel that too. And they don't understand it. They don't understand the energy that they're feeling. And as they're processing it. And as they're trying to figure it out. It starts to come out in not the best of ways. It's the itself right. And what begins to happen is there begins to be this cycle where you're already feeling off your child is feeling that you're feeling up, they start acting off, which because you're already feeling off you don't have the patience for which makes you even more upset, which makes them more upset. And now you guys you've entered what I like to call the parenting spiral of them. nobody wins. nobody wins in this scenario, everything just began spiraling down and we end up just feeding on each other's negative emotions until like I don't know combustion and everything explodes. So it's really important to remember how much our children are really feeling what you were feeling.
And and something that you can do is to bring awareness to this is to give yourself Oh, this is like a reoccurring theme here. But to give yourself the space to be alone with your thoughts. When you give yourself the space to be alone with your thoughts, you give yourself the space to kind of tackle these different feelings or these different emotions that you have been feeling from outside unrelated scenarios. And when we are able to bring awareness to your emotions, when you're able to bring awareness to the why behind what you're feeling. It allows you to be a much more resilient to, you know, your loved ones who are just, you know, doing whatever and not allow that energy to seep into all that so much, again, and giving that yourself that Space to Ground yourself, it's just going to really serve yourself and help you fill up your cup even more, so that you can show up for yourself and again, show up for your family. Gosh, you guys, this is something that, you know, we talk about here so much, because it's just so important, the importance of showing up for yourself so that you can show up for everything else, you know, you deserve it, but so do your kids and soldiers, your family, and so does your clients, but your kids are really going to I love using our children for this example, because they really are such a mere, like such just such a direct mirror of just start behavior because they're learning through watching, they heard that that's what they rely on. That's how they're, they're becoming who they are, is by observing you my lecture, they might listen a little bit, but truly where they're learning is through their observation of you. And so they are studying you.
They're studying you so much more than you realize they are studying everything about you. And they can feel that energy shift. And when your energy shifts, it does affect their energy. So it's really important to just bring awareness to that fact, because a lot of times we are so consumed with the emotions and the feelings that we're feeling that we are completely disconnected with the reality that that, you know, has an effect on everyone. It has an effect on everyone around us. So when we are in that funky, funky space, our kids are feeling that and I, I Gosh, I feel I see this just consistently with my daughter, if I don't take my self care time, if I allow that time to slip, and which that self care time is so important to me. And it's like, it slips quickly. If I don't take that time, like my mental just stability in general, it slips very, very quickly. So it's really important that I take that time. But if I don't take that and then that my mental space begins to slip, and I start being more irritable and, and reactive. That reflection in my daughter is almost instant, it's almost instantaneous. And then when I go and I take that time in my space, then I ground myself from girl my energy and I come back to the situation. Again, the reflection is almost just as instantaneous. So our children really are just such a great mirror because they are observing and studying us so incredibly closely because we are the example that they are using of how would it become humans in this world. So they do really reflect that energy and bounce that energy back at us very quickly. So an exercise that I like to use as I call it, the mirror exercise and I actually use my my daughter's quote unquote misbehavior. as a as a learning point for myself to figure out maybe something that I need to dive into that I didn't consciously realize I needed to dive into because most of the time, I can't find the connection and the correlation between her behavior and things that are going on in my life and, and different things that I'm feeling in that moment as well. So if I don't necessarily know that I'm feeling it, sometimes she responds in certain ways, though, for example, you know, she was making letters to send out and she was freaking out because it was bedtime, and she didn't have them all finish and I was like, yo, it's Saturday night tomorrow, Sunday. There's no meal tomorrow anyways, we can't send them out and she was just so caught up on the fact that had to be done right then and there in that moment, and she was losing it. And also she was tired. I mean, there's many things playing into this scenario, but she just totally lost it just complete meltdown. And I was like, gosh, over some letters that we can finish tomorrow that we can't eat incentive mark, we can't even send it to Monday anyways. And after that, after I did get into bed, I spent some time sitting in reflection of that moment and asking myself, where am I in my life? Am I doing this? Where in my life? Am I freaking out about things that at the end of the day, you know, they could get done right now, or they could get done tomorrow, it's really not that big of a deal. I don't even mean to freaking out about this timeframe, so much. And I realize, oh, my goodness, this is actually something that I do a lot. And all that she was doing in that moment was imitating behavior that she had learned from me. And I really love to use, you know, our children as these reflection points because they're so often when there is an an outburst or some kind of experience, like I had with her with the letters. When we take a moment, outside of the situation, when we have space for our children, we have space to ourselves, to really sit and reflect how, how am I showing this behavior? How am I maybe what what am I feeling that's showing this right, and when we take that time to, again, bring awareness, it helps alleviate that. Because once you know, once, you know, you can move forward with a different kind of action, you can move forward with a different kind of certainty and a different kind of grace when you have the awareness of what is going on. In your reality. So yeah, are your children gosh, they're just they're just these little majestic mirrors. That if we, if we allow them to, can we some of our greatest personal growth tools, I don't really want to call her children a tool. But you know, if we allow ourselves to learn from our children, and if we allow ourselves to learn from what they are reflecting back at us what they are showing us, then it can be really just a sort of a powerful experience. Because when you do this reflection and this exercise, you're going to notice things that you never would have even realized. So your kids truly do. emulate the energy around them. And you, my friend, are their biggest teacher.
Thank you for tuning in to today's episode of The becoming the big me podcast. If you found value in today's episode, make sure to leave us a review and share this episode with someone who needs to hear this message. That's how our podcast grows. Are you curious about learning more about harnessing the power of your subconscious mind then join the free rewire challenge where we dive deep into the subconscious mind how it works and give you some tangible action steps to began rewiring it to serve you go to bit.li slash rewire challenge that bit.li slash rewire challenge. Until next time, I'm your host Djemilah Birnie, signing out