Episode 26

Becoming Unstoppable with Tiffany Toombs

Tiffany is an NLP coach, who works with others to rewire the mind to overcome self sabotage and limiting beliefs. She is a self love advocate, whose  programs are designed to help others heal from the inside out to find more love for themselves. In this episode we talk about abuse, self doubt, miscarriage, and how Tiffany has been able to overcome them to step into her power and create a massive empire. 

Find her -> Facebook: www.facebook.com/bluelotusmind  IG: www.instagram.com/tiffanytoombs

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Hi! I am your host Djemilah Birnie of www.becomingthebigme.com . I have been building businesses online since the age of 17. When I discovered the power that we hold within our own minds my world truly began to change.

I love to write and have published some books, some of them have even hit some charts 😲 You can check them out here http://bit.ly/djemilahbooks

Ready to start playing BIG and step into your Big Me potential by harnessing the power of your mind? Then make sure you join the free Rewire challenge to get all the tools you need! https://www.djemilah.com/rewirechallenge

Don't forget to check out the little lady's podcast "A Kid's Perspective" where she answers your questions on all of life's most pressing issues, in her eyes, a kid! http://bit.ly/akidsperspective

Let's Connect! #allthelinks ⬇

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Transcript
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I stepped out in front of a fast moving car to just end it

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because at the time, that was the only thing that I could see

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to get me out of this dark tunnel that I was in. And I'm

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like I've mentally committed I was like, I'm just gonna take

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this step and everything's gonna go away. And then I went to take

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the step and like, call it divine intervention call it the

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universe, God, whatever, my feet would not move. There were like

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two cement blocks, and I couldn't move in the car pass.

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And I was just like, that was a wake up call of like, I just

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about did something that I can't take back. And so that was the

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point where I recognized that I really had to start healing some

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of my wounds and

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emptying the skeletons skeletons out of my closet.

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Hello, fellow Earthlings. Welcome to the becoming the big

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me podcast. I'm your host, Djemilah, Birnie. And together,

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we will be stepping into our highest potential, exploring all

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things mind, body, and soul. With justice, major business,

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you're a spiritual badass solopreneur and a warrior for

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change, you're ready to expand your impact and leave your old

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self behind in order to raise your vibration so that you can

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positively influence your business, your community, and

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ultimately, the world. Without further ado, let's dive right

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into it.

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I have with me here today, Tiffany. She's an NLP coach. And

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she works with others to help rewire their mindset to overcome

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self sabotage, and limiting beliefs. She is a self love

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advocate. And she's doing all kinds of wonderful things in her

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business. And I can't wait to hear more about your story

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company. And I can't wait to share your story with the

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audience. How are you doing today? I'm good. Thanks. Thanks

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for having me. Yeah, of course, I'm so happy to have you on the

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show. I am very, very impressed with what I have seen and what

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I've learned about you so far, in the past couple of weeks that

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we've been connected. And she has an amazing story of

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overcoming and creating an amazing what a seven figure

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business now on the we're on the way to seven, on the latest

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seven, but she is killing it. So Tiffany, can you just give me a

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little bit of a synopsis of your life? What your what brought you

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to where you are now? Absolutely. So for me, I mean,

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it really started in childhood, where I think a lot of

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overcoming stories do whether we want to believe want to admit it

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or not.

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For me, I my mom left my biological dad when I was three

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months old, she didn't want that life. For me. He was emotionally

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abusive. I would hazard a guess to say who is physically as

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well.

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And even after she left, he broke into her house three times

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held a knife to her throat in the middle of the night,

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threatened her and everything. And he had joint custody of me.

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So every second weekend, I had to go with him. And he appeared

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on the outside to change for a while. And really, my issue

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wasn't so much with him. It was the company that he kept. So he

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started dating a woman who is actually a domestic violence

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survivor. And I this is why I'm so passionate about that topic

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and that cause because I know how domestic violence can get

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passed on through the generations when it's not

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healed. Because ultimately, she saw me as a threat the weekends

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when I wasn't when I wasn't there, she got all of his

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attention, all of his love. And then I was there and he was he

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doted on me. He did everything he could to buy my love. And

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she didn't like that. So it started with being burned for

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curling irons and locked in closets. She had been telling me

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for years that

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strangers hated blond haired, Blue Eyed Girls and would kill

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them if they saw them. And so one day, I wasn't even, like I

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wasn't allowed child. I wasn't a bad child. I was just like, it

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was one of those kids who was always in the spotlight and just

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naturally got attention, right. It was like the light like

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naturally Shine on me. And so I was just playing with my with my

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cousins one day and she thought I was annoying. So she put me in

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the car and drove me to the outskirts of the city and just

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said get out. Like I'm just gonna leave you here for a

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stranger.

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I was seven. And I begged for my life because she'd been telling

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me for so long that you know, a stranger was going to kill me.

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So eventually they moved to the other side of Canada, and so I

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didn't have to see them anymore.

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And in my mind, I think I kind of knew she was broken. So I

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didn't really hold it against her. I did hold it against my

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dad, though, because he was never there to protect me. And

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then he chose her over me. And as soon as he moved, it's like

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he just eventually, you know, you would call once a week and

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then once a month, and then like, maybe on my birthday or

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Christmas, and then nothing for years.

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I didn't want to be another girl with daddy issues though. So I

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like sought to find control in any way that I could in my life.

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I had an amazing stepdad. So I became this ridiculously

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overachieving perfectionist to show him that I was good enough

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to be his daughter, and for him to stick around. I developed

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eating disorders so that I can have control of my body and how

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it looks. In my relationships, I'm sure this is not a surprise

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for anyone listening. My romantic relationships were

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terrible. My friendships were terrible. people walked all over

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me, I was a total doormat. I settled for boyfriends who would

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make me feel like crap. And it all kind of came to a head. I

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had moved to Australia to escape this small town life. Because I

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was this huge overachiever, I'd kind of got boxed in as this

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like goody goody who couldn't do no wrong. And I was like, that's

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not who I am. I want to be a rebel. So I just up and moved to

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a different country. And

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I started dating someone there. And three months or three years

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later, sorry. The day I found out I was pregnant was the day I

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found out he had a girlfriend in another state. And my like, my

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entire life collapsed. And I just felt this spiral happening,

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didn't have enough money to fly home and see my family or move

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even move back.

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So I was kind of stuck there to deal with it by myself without

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my parents for the first time, which was a huge eye opener. I

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couldn't eat or sleep for like two weeks. So I ended up having

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a miscarriage. Luckily, I wasn't very far along. So I didn't have

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a lot of time to get overly attached to it. But it was still

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that moment of like, there's a tiny human growing inside of me.

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And then all of a sudden, it's gone. As soon as I kind of get

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used to the fact that I'm about to be a mom. And so then that

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took me to a whole other emotional low. And the very few

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friends that I had left after the breakup, we're doing their

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best to be supportive of the breakup. But during that whole,

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like, Oh, I knew he was a loser. Like, do you remember the time

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he did this? And I was like, This is not helping me. He's

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just making me feel like a bigger loser for dating such a

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loser. Right? So

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when I had the miscarriage, I actually didn't tell anyone for

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six months. Like I just I was so ashamed. I just didn't tell

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anyone. And I almost stepped out in front of a fast moving car to

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just end it because at the time, that was the only thing that I

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could see to get me out of this dark tunnel that I was in. And

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I'm like, I mentally committed I was like, I'm just gonna take

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this step and everything's gonna go away. And then I went to take

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the step and like, call it divine intervention, call it the

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universe, God, whatever, my feet would not move. There were like,

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two cement blocks. And I couldn't move in the car past

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and I was just like, that was a wake up call of like, I just

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about did something that I can't take back. And so that was the

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point where I recognized that I really had to start healing some

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of my wounds and

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doing this skeletons, skeletons out of my closet. At this point,

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what were you doing for work when you were in Australia? I

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was actually working as a personal trainer in a gym. And

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so I yeah, I just go to work, train clients. And then I kind

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of come home and just sit and look at things with my legs.

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Look at a wall with my dog and just ask, how did I get here?

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But you have always been kind of inclined to be like helping

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people It sounds like Oh, yeah, yeah, I mean, I started when I

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was 14, training people to feel more comfortable in their skin

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and I thought it was through health and fitness. And then

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through that breakdown, which really was a breakthrough for me

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in Australia. I recognized that if I really want to help people,

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it needs to be from the mind first. So yes, so what did well

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your first kind of steps that you started to take?

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I did the traditional like counseling route booked in to

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see a psychologist.

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I mean, I did wasn't all bad. You

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In that, up until that point, I hadn't really recognized that

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what my stepmom did was abuse. For me it was just kind of like,

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Well, that was my life. And it wasn't until she said, Well, if

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that if those things were happening to another kid, like,

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would you go and burn a kid with a curling iron? Would you go and

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lock your kid in a closet? And I was like, that's it. That's

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terrible. And she's like, well, then why isn't it terrible if it

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happens to so I'd say that was like the biggest breaker I had

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from counseling after we finished like five sessions. She

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was like there. Don't you feel better now that you've told your

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whole story to somebody? And I'm like, No, no, every everything

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that I pushed down is just like up on the surface now.

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So she, yeah, she kind of got this, the process started, then

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I got invited to a personal development event. It wasn't

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Tony Robbins. But it was that kind of like, rah rah style,

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which was great for the weekend that I was there. And like the

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first week, maybe even month after because I met some friends

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and we would catch up and hold each other accountable for a

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week or a month. And then life kicked in, and everything went

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right back to where it was. So hired a life coach

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who was good. Just, I think for me, like I'm a science person.

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So if I understand the science behind something, that I

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understand how to make it work for me, and she would just give

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me tasks and be like, Okay, do this, just stand in the mirror

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every day and tell yourself, you love yourself. And I was like,

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that is the dumbest idea ever. So not knowing that like tone

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and body language mattered, I'd get up there. And I'd be like, I

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love you.

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I love you. And then I couldn't figure out why nothing was

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changing. So six months later, I was like, This isn't working.

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Ultimately, it led me to find a woman who taught NLP and then

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she had created a more therapeutic branch of NLP called

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matrix therapies. And that that profoundly changed my life. And

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so that's what I use with my clients today and what I teach

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other people,

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and what would you say like your? How is your spiritual

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mindset?

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That's a good question. I've actually, the more like, I think

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back to my childhood, the more I've always been quite

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spiritual.

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When I was little, I thought that meant religion. Like I, I

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just I knew that I needed something bigger than me. And so

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I thought that that was religion. I grew up in a town

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with a lot of Mormons.

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And my family was just worried I was going to be brainwashed into

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something that I didn't fully understand. So like, I was

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fascinated, I would go to these, like Bible study sessions and

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learn. And I was fascinated with what I was learning. But then

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yeah, my parents were just a little bit like, Oh, she being

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brainwashed. So they kind of cut that off.

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And then even like, when I was in high school, and college,

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like meditation and yoga, back before, it was even like a

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popular thing, like way, way back, I would look into it and

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do it. And I knew that like exercise, nature, those were all

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things that I needed as a regular part of my of my life.

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And I didn't really fully come to understand it until I went to

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Australia. I'm from like, the Texas of Canada, which is like

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very conservative and like, we don't look at our emotions, type

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cowboys and cowgirls. Australia was, was a good place for me to

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go because it is very spiritual there. And so I could explore

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crystals and Reiki and energy healing and all of that, and

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things of that nature without feeling like judged or worried

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about anything. So

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I think that's why my that's why my soul was like, you have to go

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to Australia. It's your spiritual journey. Yeah, I was

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calling you. Oh, totally.

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And remind me again, how long were you in Australia? for eight

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years. So I went just for like, six months was the initial plan.

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And then I didn't leave until eight years later when I was

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kind of forced to.

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And so how long How long ago was the matrix therapies? training

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that I took for four years ago. Was that kind of like the main

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beginning of this like expansion? Absolutely. The first

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conversation that I had with hit MCI, I was like, yeah, this is

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it. Like, I know, this is what I need to be doing. And I'm just

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gonna follow this.

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And so I, I had already been doing some mindset coaching. I

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had taken some coaching courses after the psychologist and some

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of the rah rah

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And when I did matrix therapies, I was like, This is what I'll be

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using, with all my clients moving forward like this. This

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is what everyone needs to experience. Yeah, and you guys,

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I actually had a session with Tiffany. And it was great, which

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is funny because I, you know, I do NLP as well, but a different

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lateral than what she does. And it was really quite a different

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experience. So if you are interested in having a session

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with her, you're definitely going to want to do that because

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it will open your eyes to all kinds of different realities.

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And yeah, it's like, it's, it never ceases to amaze me like

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how quickly it works and how profoundly it works for people.

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Like I'll check in with my clients The day after a session

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and they're like, holy crap, like, all this stuff happened,

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like, you know, when I checked in with you, and you're like,

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all this stuff,

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manifested overnight, and I was like, that's what I love.

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That's what happens. I mean, because, truly, you know,

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healing. In order to heal, you have to even figure out what

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you're healing from. And so often, we don't know, we have no

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clue what that trigger event was, that created this

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limitation in our lives. And that's something that, you know,

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Tiffany helps with now, in,

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in her work is helping you find out, okay, where was that

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actually coming from? Was it even coming from me? Was it

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coming from someone in my lineage? Was it someone, you

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know, one of my ancestors, which for me, it ended up being like,

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my great, great grandma wasn't even me. So how was I supposed

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to know until diving into it? what that is?

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Yeah, I think, like, now is such an exciting time to be in a

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healing process, because we are learning so much about the mind,

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the body, the soul, how emotions and belief systems are passed

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down through the genes, how things from two generations ago

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or even two lifetimes ago can affect our soul in this life.

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And that we actually don't have to keep playing out that story.

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Like we can change the story at any point in time. Yeah, and I

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love that you come from it from like, the scientific standpoint,

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that's really what drew me into NLP as well was one of the

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science behind it. I had seen all of the super woowoo you

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know, hippies going up, and I totally just disconnected from

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that whole. The,

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like, proof here, guy.

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Yeah, absolutely. It's funny. I've done so many talks, where

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people will come up to me after and say, you know, I saw a

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presenter last week or last month that said, like, the exact

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same things that you did, but they were like, they came

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spiritual first, and then attempted to sprinkle in some

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science and you're like science first to like, open the door of

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the mind and be like, Okay, this stuff is legit. And then you

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throw the woowoo. at us. We're like, Well, we've already got

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the science. So it has to be. So

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I think it opens a lot more doors for people. Yeah, I

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definitely agree. So Tiffany also has a book that she wrote.

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Can you tell us a little bit about your book? And what kind

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of inspired this book? Absolutely. So my book is called

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stop being a selfish bitch, a comprehensive guide to living

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your best life through radical self love. So it is a very

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ironic title.

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And I chose it because I, the for me set being called a

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selfish bitch was like the thing that a lot of people use to

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control me through my life to get me to, you know, not move to

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Australia or not moved to Dallas or not to, you know, travel the

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world or do the things that I felt like I needed to do. And

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especially it was used in my last business that I ran in

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Australia, I was in business with a couple of narcissists.

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And I loved coaching, I would filter it into what we were

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doing in our businesses as much as possible. We were working

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with a lot of athletes so I could, and when I would, you

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know, have to go home at five o'clock because I'd scheduled in

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a coaching client for me that night. I'd get a guilt trip

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about it. And I'm like, I've been here since 6am. Like, it's

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cool if I go home and do something else with my time

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doesn't you know, if I was walking the dog we would like

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because I'm coaching. So I really found like, that was this

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like great cloud that was always over my head that anytime I was

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following my heart, I was being selfish, which are following my

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soul. And I ended up losing everything because of those

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narcissists that I was in business with they were doing

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some

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stuff on the side. And it ended up the blowback impacted me, I

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was forced to resign, I lost my ability to live and work in

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Australia had to move back to Canada. And I had a three month

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gap of selling everything off and packing everything up and

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moving back home and finishing up some courses, courses that I

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was doing. And in the process of figuring out, like, what am I

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going to do?

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I had a lot of conversations, and the Alberta economy at that

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time was only just recovering from recession. And like I said

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before, it's highly conservative. Nobody wants to

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talk about their motions, especially coming out of a

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recession. So I had people telling me like, no, nobody's

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gonna pay you for that. Like, no, it's not a good business

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model. Not a good idea. You'd make a great receptionist. And I

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was like, I just like, yeah, you're probably right. Like,

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I've never been able to fully support myself on coaching,

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because I never had attempted to before. And I was journaling one

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day and I said, you know, what do I do? What do I do? What do I

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do? And this answer just kind of came like, you know what, fear

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and self doubt self sabotage, you know what that life looks

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like you've been living it literally your entire life. So

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what would happen if you just took those things, you just put

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them up in, in a box on the shelf? And for 365 days

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straight, you just decided to go all in on yourself? What would

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that look like? And then I recognize that the people who

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get coaching with me their life is profoundly changed, like I

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had, when I was doing this journaling session, I had just

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finished working with a client who had faced a lifetime of

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abuse, she had been sexually abused by her dad, she'd been

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beaten up by her mom. She'd been married three times her first

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husband was like, psychotic, abusive, physically, sexually,

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everything to her and her daughter, her second husband

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ended up being a pedophile who sexually abused her kids like

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just this horrible life abuse. And in her last session with me,

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we were going through the clearing process, and I looked

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down to take notes, and I looked up, and like her face had

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changed. Like, I kid you not, she had lost 20 years off of her

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face.

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And I just I completely lost track of where I was in the

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session. And I was just like, I was just like, What just

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happened?

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Sorry, it was the first time that I had that experience,

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where I saw somebody have the physical change as a result of,

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of their clearing. And that was still like, super fresh in my

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mind. And when I checked in with her The next day, she was like,

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you know, I used to love singing, I haven't been able to

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sing in years. And I got in the car, and like my favorite song

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was playing, and I just belted out the song at the top of my

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lungs. And it was awesome. And like, She's like, I just had

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this huge, like, sing along the whole way home. Thank you so

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much. And as I was journaling that to myself, I just

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recognized like, there's people out there who haven't met me yet

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who need the gifts that I have. And I'm a strong believer that

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we each have a gift, we each have a message or story,

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whatever it is that we're meant to use to change the world. And

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it doesn't matter if it's coaching like you and I do or if

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it's, you know, baking the best apple pie and making somebody

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stay that way you're doing the best tire change or oil change.

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And I recognize that if I chose to give into my fear, and my

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self sabotage my self doubt and what everyone else was telling

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me. And that belief that if I followed my heart that I was

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being a selfish bitch, then I was actually being a selfish

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bitch because I was taking away the future and the healing and

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the change lives and the transformation from all those

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people who are yet to meet me. And so stop being a selfish

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bitch actually started out as my personal project, I decided that

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I was just going to go all in on myself. I started out the first

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four months with video, like a daily video diary are

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documented. Here's everything that I'm doing. I'm submitting

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articles to addicted to success or to elephant journal or to

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this or to that. I'm asking for the speaking opportunities. I'm

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sending 20 emails a day to connect with people and get new

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clients or get, you know, whatever. And midway through

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last year, somebody said to me, I think you need to make this a

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book. And I was like, I can't call a book stop being a selfish

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bitch. Like I just I can't. And then the universe just kept

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showing up for me and like every time I went on Amazon or audible

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It was like, the subtle art of not giving a fuck before unfuck

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yourself or like all these other books that had some

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Were words in the title. I was like, Okay, I get it. I

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mentioned the title. So yes, that's where it came from. I

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love it. And I'm so excited to read it when it comes. Yes, I'll

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get it on this Friday.

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So I have a lot of people who are entrepreneurs on here.

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Just real quick, what would be your number one tip that you

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would give to someone who's been thinking about writing a book.

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Just start, and like, it doesn't have to be perfect. That's what

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the editing process is for. Like so many people that I talked to,

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they're like, well, I don't know, you know, I don't know

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what to say in chapter one. So even though chapter five is in

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my head, I can't reach out and I'm just like, just like, just

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start wherever, right? I thought that I was gonna have a specific

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order to my book totally changed. Just write it. And for

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me, like, My mind goes really fast. So I didn't actually write

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my book, I voice recorded my book, when I'd be walking the

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dog, or when I'd be visiting my parents who lived four hours

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away, I would just like, turn on The Voice Recorder while I was

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walking or driving. And I would just talk, like, just talk and

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talk and talk. And then I sent it into rev.com. They

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transcribed it all. And then I just sat down, and like edited

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it.

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Not so much for the content for the context, but the content.

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And then I sent it off to an editor and she did all like the

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fancy stuff, making it look all pretty. Absolutely. I like that

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tip, the recording, because that's actually something that I

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do sometimes just for myself, like, instead of like a daily

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journal, I'll do like a daily voice recording because I'm the

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same way like, my brain is moving so fast that I can't

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always like get it down on paper. I know, I wish my hand

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could move as fast as my brain went. I've lost so many good

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ideas attempting to write things down. And I'm like, No, wait,

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what was that?

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Oh, girl, so.

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So you do talk about journaling? A lot. And I'm a I'm a big

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believer in journaling, especially when it comes to

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like, the manifestation process. How long have you been

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implementing journaling into your life?

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I go, I think I go through phases, where I stopped

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journaling, but honestly like, it was like diaries Dear Diary,

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when I was little up to like journaling now, so I don't think

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there's ever really been other than the times where I like,

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you know, forget to journal or need a new journal or whatever.

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I've always journaled. Yeah, I'm in the same space. So let's do

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the little diary things with the, with the little locks on

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them, too. Yeah.

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I am.

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I, they're really great for manifesting. And I think they're

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also really good for healing. Like I tell my clients to get

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two journals, a dumping journal that they keep with them all the

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time. And when they're having a bad day, they can just go to

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that they can swear they can scribble, they can you know,

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whatever they need to do, and then burn it. Because there's

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something really cathartic about, like taking the emotion

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and making it physical on paper, and then just watching it go up

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in flames and recognizing

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and recognizing like, okay, it's gone now.

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Yeah, it's almost like a little ritual. I mean, you know, some

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might relate it to witches.

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It's like a little, it's like a little ritual.

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Getting rather good at manifesting the energy into the

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physical and then releasing it. Yeah, yeah. So tell me about how

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mentorship has played a role in your life. I know. You are an

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advocate for it, given the fact that we met in a mastermind.

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Yes, yes.

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I think it's so important. Like, for me, and choosing the right

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mentor, like don't just have a mentor for the sake of having a

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mentor. I've had some good mentors, and I've had some

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terrible ones.

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So recognize, like, what is your intention for working with that

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mentor? And what is their intention for working with you?

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I have had a couple clients come to me recently, who were like,

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Oh, I had this coach. But it kind of started feeling like

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they were coaching me for their own ego. And I think that

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especially like, I know, my coaching journey, I totally

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started out in coaching from ego like, Oh, well, I got you these

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results. So you know

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where it is. Now. I'm like, my clients have experienced this

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and I've facilitated a process. I'm just happy for

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Their breakthrough, right?

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So yeah, know what their, what their intention for mentoring

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you is as well, I think it's important to

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stand on the shoulders of giants, so to speak, like you

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can cut your learning curve so fast, if you know what not to

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do, if you know the mistakes not to make.

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So obviously, I'm in the one mastermind with you right now.

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And then I have another

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mentor and Marshall silver. And I just look at the way he set up

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his business, he's happy for me to ask them questions. And then

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I mirror or model my business off the pages, and it's hugely

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taken off. So I mean, if somebody has already spent

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1000s, or hundreds 1000s, or even millions of dollars, on

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creating a business and messing up, like,

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if you can get those lessons without spending the hundreds of

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1000s of millions, like you're so far ahead.

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Yeah, now in the in the coaching industry, it can be interesting,

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because there are all different kinds of people, just like

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you're saying,

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who are entering into the industry? So what would be like

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a, what's your screening process?

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For me to, to hire a mentor? Exactly.

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Um, I needed like, a good energetic vibe from them. And I

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need a good

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first impression, but I like to, I'm an observer. So oftentimes,

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I will watch someone come in the room and see how they greet

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other people see how they show up around other people, not just

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when they're attempting to sell me. So it's kind of like, for

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me, it's kind of like a first date, like, I'm engaged. Now,

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when I was dating. After that one breakup, I decided that when

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I started dating, I was going to do it different and like not do

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the formal dinners were sitting across from each other. And it's

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super awkward, and both on your best behavior.

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And so for me, what I found was, I would say, like, let's do

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something different. You think of a different idea whether it's

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mini golf, or like, I've done like mini golf, rock climbing,

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goes tours, winery tours, like, all sorts of stuff for first

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dates, and it gives you an idea of who that person is. And I

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think it's the same with a mentor, like,

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see if you can get them in a situation where you can kind of

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witness them in their more unconscious behavior, and see

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what comes up for you. I know that in some cases, it's not

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always like that. And so then I look at, you know, what is the

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reputation? What, uh, what do people that I respect to know

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them have to say?

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And what is the impact that they're leaving on the world?

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Like, are they doing this to make millions so that they can

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just go sit in Mexico and sip margaritas? Or do they genuinely

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care about making change in the world?

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Yeah.

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Yeah. And I mean, that's, that's huge with, you know, the

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mentorship group that we're in.

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And really, knowing the intention behind someone's

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actions is something that sometimes it's like more of a

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gut kind of instinct response. It's one of those things that

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you have to really lean into your intuition.

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As far as how the feeling of that manifests now to jump

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backwards in your journey. So I just had a question popped up in

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my head.

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When you were first really deciding to go all in, you are

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first really launching your business?

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What were some of those first things that you started to do

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before you had like all of the connections that you have now? I

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think I've always been an outside of the box thinker. So

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that has benefited me really well. So I did a couple of

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different things. I put on a workshop for myself. I started

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putting out a lot of content on Facebook, just adding value to

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people.

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And then I later learned that that's the best way to get

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clients. I was like, Oh, perfect. I'm already doing this.

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And then I really wanted to, I knew that I could leverage other

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people's databases. So because I moved back at Christmas time. I

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knew that like New Year's resolutions were going to be a

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big thing for people.

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mindset was going to be the number one thing that killed all

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of those, right? So I reached out to gyms, yoga studios,

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Pilates studios, chiropractic clinics.

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Anyone anything in like the fitness space that's really like

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impacted January 1 with all the new year's resolutions. And I

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just offered like a free 60 minute talk. And then I'd

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present like, very basic NLP concepts, but add a ton of value

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to people and then say, you know, if you want all this

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information that I've talked about with a quiz to figure out

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like what learning style you are, if you leave me your email,

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I'll send you my ebook. And so then I built my list that way, I

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don't think I've ever done a talk where I haven't had at

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least one person sign up to be a client. And then that led to

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referrals. And then you know, just nurturing the database

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sending out weekly videos, about just different topics until I

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hit on the one that got the person to buy. So it was it was

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a lot of legwork. Initially, I still find it to be the best

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though. Like even now, like I still find, you know, doing like

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free little talks within the community as my way of giving

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back to the community always ends up. Like I've gotten

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corporate deals out of that I've gotten, like super high point

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paying clients I've gotten I've had schools reach out to me and

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asked me to train their teachers like, yeah, so I just I just

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focused on adding value and every possible way that I could.

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I really liked that tip for for my people, because some of them

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don't necessarily have like massive social media followings

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are like all these things that the New Age entrepreneur feels

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like they need to have, when in reality, all you need to do is

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just go out there and do exactly what Tiffany is talking about

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and provide value to people show up in the way that you know how

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to show up, that can provide value to people. And that's how,

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you know, Tiffany has been able to build such a big business,

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and I'm sure she's gonna be hitting six are gonna be hitting

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seven figures here very soon, because I know she's doing all

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of the amazing.

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Thank you. And like, yeah, you don't you totally do not need a

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big following like, I only just hit 5000 people on Facebook,

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like last week. So you can, you know, it's, it's, I'd rather

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have. And I know that this has said a lot on social media, I

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genuinely mean it. Like I would rather have 10 people who are

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evangelical and tell everyone about me than 10 people or 100

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people who are like, hey, so right. Yeah. And that's

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something that can be like a mental block for us. Sometimes I

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know, it was a little bit of a mental block for me before I

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started this podcast, actually, because I was like, Well, I

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have, you know, 2500 people on Instagram or whatever, you know,

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and it's like, who actually cares? Who's actually gonna want

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to listen? And it turns out that there actually are a lot of

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people that care and a lot of people that want to listen, you

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know, and it's, it has nothing to do with the number and

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everything to do with the quality of those people.

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Absolutely. And then I would say like, the second biggest tip

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that I could give people is just put yourself out there, like you

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have no idea who will say yes to you. And I think a lot of people

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get put in this position of, well, they'll probably just say

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no to me anyway. So I'll just, I don't want to waste my time. The

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thing is, like, even if they say no to your pitch, you get better

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at pitching.

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Right. Like recently, I spoke at one of Marshall Silver's events

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last March, march this past year. And he has another event

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coming up next week. And I said, I'd really like to present that.

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Like, just maybe I'll just I'll just wait and see if he asked me

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and then I was like, No, like, When have I ever lived from I'll

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just wait and see if they come to me. perspective. Like, just

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go for it. Right? people, people don't know who you are until you

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put yourself in front of them. And just because they say no

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once doesn't mean that they won't follow you or they won't

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watch like, I had a call this morning with this guy who's an

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eight figure business owner and he was like, you know, I hate

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coaches and I hate the coaching industry. And I've been doing a

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lot of research on you and like you're super legit, and I want

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to do some work with you in some way. That was just like, okay,

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and this is somebody who's worked with like Robert Kiyosaki

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and Tony Robbins and I'm like, Yeah, okay, yes, please like

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Let's do it. So, you know, just just ask for the conversation or

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ask, ask for the opportunity and the like, literally, the worst

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thing they can do is say, No, you're, you know, you're not

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going to spontaneously combust your arms and legs won't fall

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off. You will live to see another day. Just, you know, be

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willing to put yourself out there. Because you can't nobody

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can say yes, if you don't, either. Yeah, there's no

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opportunities if you just stay in your safety zone.

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Yeah, so putting yourself out there, it can be really scary

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sometimes Woody, what do you do to like combat the fear that

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comes up or did come up.

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I actually spent a lot of time getting intentional. When I

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moved back from Australia, I realized that I hadn't

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necessarily always operated within my personal core values,

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in business and in life down there. And I went through this

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phase being like really pissed off at myself that I allowed

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myself to be put in a position where I could be manipulated to

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act, outside of integrity or, or things like that. And then I

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realized that I didn't actually know what my core values were,

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I'd hadn't taken the time to, like, really connect with them.

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So I'm super clear about what my mission in this life is, like,

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my mission in this life is to empower 1 million people to live

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an intentional life that's aligned with the truth of their

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soul. And I connect with that every single day. And every

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single decision that I make is based on that. So when it's a

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issue of like, Oh, I have to go live, but I don't have makeup on

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will, does the mat does the message matter, or the fact that

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I don't have mascara, like, what is more important right now the

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mission or looking good on camera? Right? So and I get just

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as many views when my hair is up and my makeups not on as I do if

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I'm like all dressed to the nines. So I think when you get

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really intentional about your life, and like, like we talked

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about before, with a mentor, when you know why you're doing

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things, then the fear kind of just disappears, because all of

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a sudden, the other side of it than not doing it has way more

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fear and negativity attached to it than the possibility of like

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failing or rejection or whatever. So like, for me, if I

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think about not empowering those million people I like I feel my

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soul dying. One of the ways that I motivated myself when I first

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came back, and I was having one of those days of like, oh,

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nothing's happening as fast as I want it to and like, Can I

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really keep going with this? Because I'd go on indeed.com.

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And I'd start looking at job postings. And then I'd be like,

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right back to work. Any day, I was just like, I don't want to

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just like pull up indeed on my phone or on my laptop. And then

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I'd be like, Oh, my God, that the nine to five hell that's

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waiting on the other side of this is far scarier than

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anything that could happen in taking a risk in my business.

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When sometimes we forget the other side, too, because I've

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definitely been in that place as well, where I'm like, wait,

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okay, so you guys want, you know, 10,000 years of school,

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and you're paying $11 an hour? Yeah. Yeah. Right. Like, just,

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yeah. So know what your intention is like for your life.

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Like, get really clear about what you want your legacy to be

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doesn't matter how much money you have in the bank, or how

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much you know how old you are, just get really intentional,

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intentional about what this life means for you. And

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the fear doesn't really kick in so much anymore.

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So what if you're kind of struggling to find what your

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intention is, and you just feel like you're kind of lost in life

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just moving through the motions? How would you suggest to start

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the process of getting clear? That's a great question. What I

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do with my clients is I actually get them to close their eyes and

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visualize that they're a fly on the wall at their funeral.

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That's, that's what I get them to do. And I get that it's kind

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of morbid. At the same time. It's like super powerful,

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because like, do you want people at your funeral who are there

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just because they have to be

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because it's the thing to do when somebody dies or do you

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want people there because they're celebrating the impact

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and like, you don't necessarily like the intention that I just

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told you. That's like my eight three right of it. The for the

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first time. I did this for myself. I had to like it was not

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that clear. I just had to feel

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And I would move towards that feeling of like impact and

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change. And like, empowerment really is ultimately what it is.

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And so it's okay, if you can't verbalize it straight away, like

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the words will come, I think we get caught in this place of

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like, it's not real, if I can't verbalize it, but your feelings

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are real. So just, like, know the feeling, and work towards

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that every day, what's the feeling that you want to leave

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each and every person you come into contact with?

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And then start working from that place? Like it and it is a

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process, you know, you've kind of been on this personal growth

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journey now for a decade, right? So yeah, it's not something that

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you're gonna just one day be like, Oh, that's it.

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Yeah. And the things that you love doing, like, they'll work

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into it in some way. I've had so many coaches and mentors Tell me

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like, you just have to, you have to pick one thing you have to

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pick, like, you can't work with general population. And

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corporate, and athletes. Just if you want to be successful, you

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have to pick one. And my thing is, my one thing is empowering

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them to live an intentional life. Like the message that I

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talked about to all of them is the same. That's my one thing.

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So I just, you know, that's all that matters is that that's the

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message I'm sharing. And all the things that I love, the yoga,

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the acro, yoga, courses, meditation, travel, like, all of

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that will find a way to manifest in your purpose, and in the

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things that you love. You just have to figure it out. You just

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have to know that feeling that you're working towards. And the

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puzzle pieces will click. Exactly, yeah, that's, I've been

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told very similar because I have all of the passions and all of

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the ideas. And that's something that I allowed to hold myself

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back for a very long time, not realizing that, actually, you

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know what this feels good. So this is okay. And that whole

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logic thing, which I am very logical

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in nature, and that's logic brain has held me back a lot.

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And I feel like, that's one of the biggest things that's

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holding back other people, as well as feeling that it has to

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be a certain way, all of the big, big teachers are talking

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about niching down getting super, super specific, when we

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forget that we can be specific in our messaging. And the way

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that we deliver our message, the way that I deliver my message is

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going to be completely different than the way that you deliver

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your message. However, we're both seeing the same things. And

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that's our niche ourselves. Yeah, absolutely. I mean,

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there's gonna be people who are attracted to your story, more

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than they're attracted to mine. Right. And that's cool. As long

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as they are going on the journey of empowerment. I actually tell

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my clients, like we have to have an initial session first, before

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we decide to work together. Because if you don't feel like

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you can open up to me or you don't like me, or you trigger

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me, or I trigger you, then this won't work. So we, you know, I

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would rather have that time to have a quick chat with you. And

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make sure that like we are comfortable with each other

Speaker:

before we move into anything, but yeah, I've had so many

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people, like, your coaching business will not be successful

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if you're doing all of these things. And I'm like, I like to

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prove people wrong. So Game on.

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Let's do it. That's right.

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All right, Tiffany. So the time has gone by very quickly. But if

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there was one final thought one last note that you want to leave

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the listeners with that they only get one thing out of this

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whole talk. What would that be

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that you are far more powerful than you even realize?

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And I think we can't we have like this feeling of like, Oh,

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well, if I heal this thing, then I know that I wouldn't be

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dragging this weight around with me through life. You don't

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realize how quickly you get propelled forward when you start

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that healing journey. There's a quote by Thomas Edison that says

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if we were to do all the things that we were truly capable of,

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we would literally astound ourselves. And it like I look at

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it every day because it's so true. Like we just we have zero

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idea what our true potential is and how much power we have.

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That's so good. That's a perfect ending now. Okay, Tiffany. So

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where can people find you they want to watch your daily she

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puts out live videos every day pretty much and as always

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sharing amazing content where can they find you? So all the

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links to my social media are on my Facebook page or on my

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website, Blue Lotus mind calm like color Lotus like flower of

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mind, like your brain, or facebook.com forward slash Blue

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Lotus mind. Lovely and then I will share a link to all of her

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links

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in the show notes in the description as well thank you so

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much Tiffany, for taking time out of your day to share your

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message and to come on the show with me. Thank you so much for

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having me. It's been awesome.

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Thank you for tuning in to today's episode of The becoming

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the big me podcast. If you found value in today's episode, make

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sure to leave us a review and share this episode with someone

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who needs to hear this message. That's how our podcast grows.

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Are you curious about learning more about harnessing the power

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of your subconscious mind. then join the free rewire challenge

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where we dive deep into the subconscious mind how it works

Speaker:

and give you some tangible action steps to began rewiring

Speaker:

it to serve you go to bit.li slash rewire challenge that

Speaker:

bit.li slash rewire challenge. Until next time. I'm your host

About the Podcast

Show artwork for The Becoming the Big Me Podcast
The Becoming the Big Me Podcast
Mind. Body. Business.

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