Episode 26
Becoming Unstoppable with Tiffany Toombs
Tiffany is an NLP coach, who works with others to rewire the mind to overcome self sabotage and limiting beliefs. She is a self love advocate, whose programs are designed to help others heal from the inside out to find more love for themselves. In this episode we talk about abuse, self doubt, miscarriage, and how Tiffany has been able to overcome them to step into her power and create a massive empire.
Find her -> Facebook: www.facebook.com/bluelotusmind IG: www.instagram.com/tiffanytoombs
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Hi! I am your host Djemilah Birnie of www.becomingthebigme.com . I have been building businesses online since the age of 17. When I discovered the power that we hold within our own minds my world truly began to change.
I love to write and have published some books, some of them have even hit some charts 😲 You can check them out here http://bit.ly/djemilahbooks
Ready to start playing BIG and step into your Big Me potential by harnessing the power of your mind? Then make sure you join the free Rewire challenge to get all the tools you need! https://www.djemilah.com/rewirechallenge
Don't forget to check out the little lady's podcast "A Kid's Perspective" where she answers your questions on all of life's most pressing issues, in her eyes, a kid! http://bit.ly/akidsperspective
Let's Connect! #allthelinks ⬇
https://www.facebook.com/djemilah/
Transcript
I stepped out in front of a fast moving car to just end it
Speaker:because at the time, that was the only thing that I could see
Speaker:to get me out of this dark tunnel that I was in. And I'm
Speaker:like I've mentally committed I was like, I'm just gonna take
Speaker:this step and everything's gonna go away. And then I went to take
Speaker:the step and like, call it divine intervention call it the
Speaker:universe, God, whatever, my feet would not move. There were like
Speaker:two cement blocks, and I couldn't move in the car pass.
Speaker:And I was just like, that was a wake up call of like, I just
Speaker:about did something that I can't take back. And so that was the
Speaker:point where I recognized that I really had to start healing some
Speaker:of my wounds and
Speaker:emptying the skeletons skeletons out of my closet.
Speaker:Hello, fellow Earthlings. Welcome to the becoming the big
Speaker:me podcast. I'm your host, Djemilah, Birnie. And together,
Speaker:we will be stepping into our highest potential, exploring all
Speaker:things mind, body, and soul. With justice, major business,
Speaker:you're a spiritual badass solopreneur and a warrior for
Speaker:change, you're ready to expand your impact and leave your old
Speaker:self behind in order to raise your vibration so that you can
Speaker:positively influence your business, your community, and
Speaker:ultimately, the world. Without further ado, let's dive right
Speaker:into it.
Speaker:I have with me here today, Tiffany. She's an NLP coach. And
Speaker:she works with others to help rewire their mindset to overcome
Speaker:self sabotage, and limiting beliefs. She is a self love
Speaker:advocate. And she's doing all kinds of wonderful things in her
Speaker:business. And I can't wait to hear more about your story
Speaker:company. And I can't wait to share your story with the
Speaker:audience. How are you doing today? I'm good. Thanks. Thanks
Speaker:for having me. Yeah, of course, I'm so happy to have you on the
Speaker:show. I am very, very impressed with what I have seen and what
Speaker:I've learned about you so far, in the past couple of weeks that
Speaker:we've been connected. And she has an amazing story of
Speaker:overcoming and creating an amazing what a seven figure
Speaker:business now on the we're on the way to seven, on the latest
Speaker:seven, but she is killing it. So Tiffany, can you just give me a
Speaker:little bit of a synopsis of your life? What your what brought you
Speaker:to where you are now? Absolutely. So for me, I mean,
Speaker:it really started in childhood, where I think a lot of
Speaker:overcoming stories do whether we want to believe want to admit it
Speaker:or not.
Speaker:For me, I my mom left my biological dad when I was three
Speaker:months old, she didn't want that life. For me. He was emotionally
Speaker:abusive. I would hazard a guess to say who is physically as
Speaker:well.
Speaker:And even after she left, he broke into her house three times
Speaker:held a knife to her throat in the middle of the night,
Speaker:threatened her and everything. And he had joint custody of me.
Speaker:So every second weekend, I had to go with him. And he appeared
Speaker:on the outside to change for a while. And really, my issue
Speaker:wasn't so much with him. It was the company that he kept. So he
Speaker:started dating a woman who is actually a domestic violence
Speaker:survivor. And I this is why I'm so passionate about that topic
Speaker:and that cause because I know how domestic violence can get
Speaker:passed on through the generations when it's not
Speaker:healed. Because ultimately, she saw me as a threat the weekends
Speaker:when I wasn't when I wasn't there, she got all of his
Speaker:attention, all of his love. And then I was there and he was he
Speaker:doted on me. He did everything he could to buy my love. And
Speaker:she didn't like that. So it started with being burned for
Speaker:curling irons and locked in closets. She had been telling me
Speaker:for years that
Speaker:strangers hated blond haired, Blue Eyed Girls and would kill
Speaker:them if they saw them. And so one day, I wasn't even, like I
Speaker:wasn't allowed child. I wasn't a bad child. I was just like, it
Speaker:was one of those kids who was always in the spotlight and just
Speaker:naturally got attention, right. It was like the light like
Speaker:naturally Shine on me. And so I was just playing with my with my
Speaker:cousins one day and she thought I was annoying. So she put me in
Speaker:the car and drove me to the outskirts of the city and just
Speaker:said get out. Like I'm just gonna leave you here for a
Speaker:stranger.
Speaker:I was seven. And I begged for my life because she'd been telling
Speaker:me for so long that you know, a stranger was going to kill me.
Speaker:So eventually they moved to the other side of Canada, and so I
Speaker:didn't have to see them anymore.
Speaker:And in my mind, I think I kind of knew she was broken. So I
Speaker:didn't really hold it against her. I did hold it against my
Speaker:dad, though, because he was never there to protect me. And
Speaker:then he chose her over me. And as soon as he moved, it's like
Speaker:he just eventually, you know, you would call once a week and
Speaker:then once a month, and then like, maybe on my birthday or
Speaker:Christmas, and then nothing for years.
Speaker:I didn't want to be another girl with daddy issues though. So I
Speaker:like sought to find control in any way that I could in my life.
Speaker:I had an amazing stepdad. So I became this ridiculously
Speaker:overachieving perfectionist to show him that I was good enough
Speaker:to be his daughter, and for him to stick around. I developed
Speaker:eating disorders so that I can have control of my body and how
Speaker:it looks. In my relationships, I'm sure this is not a surprise
Speaker:for anyone listening. My romantic relationships were
Speaker:terrible. My friendships were terrible. people walked all over
Speaker:me, I was a total doormat. I settled for boyfriends who would
Speaker:make me feel like crap. And it all kind of came to a head. I
Speaker:had moved to Australia to escape this small town life. Because I
Speaker:was this huge overachiever, I'd kind of got boxed in as this
Speaker:like goody goody who couldn't do no wrong. And I was like, that's
Speaker:not who I am. I want to be a rebel. So I just up and moved to
Speaker:a different country. And
Speaker:I started dating someone there. And three months or three years
Speaker:later, sorry. The day I found out I was pregnant was the day I
Speaker:found out he had a girlfriend in another state. And my like, my
Speaker:entire life collapsed. And I just felt this spiral happening,
Speaker:didn't have enough money to fly home and see my family or move
Speaker:even move back.
Speaker:So I was kind of stuck there to deal with it by myself without
Speaker:my parents for the first time, which was a huge eye opener. I
Speaker:couldn't eat or sleep for like two weeks. So I ended up having
Speaker:a miscarriage. Luckily, I wasn't very far along. So I didn't have
Speaker:a lot of time to get overly attached to it. But it was still
Speaker:that moment of like, there's a tiny human growing inside of me.
Speaker:And then all of a sudden, it's gone. As soon as I kind of get
Speaker:used to the fact that I'm about to be a mom. And so then that
Speaker:took me to a whole other emotional low. And the very few
Speaker:friends that I had left after the breakup, we're doing their
Speaker:best to be supportive of the breakup. But during that whole,
Speaker:like, Oh, I knew he was a loser. Like, do you remember the time
Speaker:he did this? And I was like, This is not helping me. He's
Speaker:just making me feel like a bigger loser for dating such a
Speaker:loser. Right? So
Speaker:when I had the miscarriage, I actually didn't tell anyone for
Speaker:six months. Like I just I was so ashamed. I just didn't tell
Speaker:anyone. And I almost stepped out in front of a fast moving car to
Speaker:just end it because at the time, that was the only thing that I
Speaker:could see to get me out of this dark tunnel that I was in. And
Speaker:I'm like, I mentally committed I was like, I'm just gonna take
Speaker:this step and everything's gonna go away. And then I went to take
Speaker:the step and like, call it divine intervention, call it the
Speaker:universe, God, whatever, my feet would not move. There were like,
Speaker:two cement blocks. And I couldn't move in the car past
Speaker:and I was just like, that was a wake up call of like, I just
Speaker:about did something that I can't take back. And so that was the
Speaker:point where I recognized that I really had to start healing some
Speaker:of my wounds and
Speaker:doing this skeletons, skeletons out of my closet. At this point,
Speaker:what were you doing for work when you were in Australia? I
Speaker:was actually working as a personal trainer in a gym. And
Speaker:so I yeah, I just go to work, train clients. And then I kind
Speaker:of come home and just sit and look at things with my legs.
Speaker:Look at a wall with my dog and just ask, how did I get here?
Speaker:But you have always been kind of inclined to be like helping
Speaker:people It sounds like Oh, yeah, yeah, I mean, I started when I
Speaker:was 14, training people to feel more comfortable in their skin
Speaker:and I thought it was through health and fitness. And then
Speaker:through that breakdown, which really was a breakthrough for me
Speaker:in Australia. I recognized that if I really want to help people,
Speaker:it needs to be from the mind first. So yes, so what did well
Speaker:your first kind of steps that you started to take?
Speaker:I did the traditional like counseling route booked in to
Speaker:see a psychologist.
Speaker:I mean, I did wasn't all bad. You
Speaker:In that, up until that point, I hadn't really recognized that
Speaker:what my stepmom did was abuse. For me it was just kind of like,
Speaker:Well, that was my life. And it wasn't until she said, Well, if
Speaker:that if those things were happening to another kid, like,
Speaker:would you go and burn a kid with a curling iron? Would you go and
Speaker:lock your kid in a closet? And I was like, that's it. That's
Speaker:terrible. And she's like, well, then why isn't it terrible if it
Speaker:happens to so I'd say that was like the biggest breaker I had
Speaker:from counseling after we finished like five sessions. She
Speaker:was like there. Don't you feel better now that you've told your
Speaker:whole story to somebody? And I'm like, No, no, every everything
Speaker:that I pushed down is just like up on the surface now.
Speaker:So she, yeah, she kind of got this, the process started, then
Speaker:I got invited to a personal development event. It wasn't
Speaker:Tony Robbins. But it was that kind of like, rah rah style,
Speaker:which was great for the weekend that I was there. And like the
Speaker:first week, maybe even month after because I met some friends
Speaker:and we would catch up and hold each other accountable for a
Speaker:week or a month. And then life kicked in, and everything went
Speaker:right back to where it was. So hired a life coach
Speaker:who was good. Just, I think for me, like I'm a science person.
Speaker:So if I understand the science behind something, that I
Speaker:understand how to make it work for me, and she would just give
Speaker:me tasks and be like, Okay, do this, just stand in the mirror
Speaker:every day and tell yourself, you love yourself. And I was like,
Speaker:that is the dumbest idea ever. So not knowing that like tone
Speaker:and body language mattered, I'd get up there. And I'd be like, I
Speaker:love you.
Speaker:I love you. And then I couldn't figure out why nothing was
Speaker:changing. So six months later, I was like, This isn't working.
Speaker:Ultimately, it led me to find a woman who taught NLP and then
Speaker:she had created a more therapeutic branch of NLP called
Speaker:matrix therapies. And that that profoundly changed my life. And
Speaker:so that's what I use with my clients today and what I teach
Speaker:other people,
Speaker:and what would you say like your? How is your spiritual
Speaker:mindset?
Speaker:That's a good question. I've actually, the more like, I think
Speaker:back to my childhood, the more I've always been quite
Speaker:spiritual.
Speaker:When I was little, I thought that meant religion. Like I, I
Speaker:just I knew that I needed something bigger than me. And so
Speaker:I thought that that was religion. I grew up in a town
Speaker:with a lot of Mormons.
Speaker:And my family was just worried I was going to be brainwashed into
Speaker:something that I didn't fully understand. So like, I was
Speaker:fascinated, I would go to these, like Bible study sessions and
Speaker:learn. And I was fascinated with what I was learning. But then
Speaker:yeah, my parents were just a little bit like, Oh, she being
Speaker:brainwashed. So they kind of cut that off.
Speaker:And then even like, when I was in high school, and college,
Speaker:like meditation and yoga, back before, it was even like a
Speaker:popular thing, like way, way back, I would look into it and
Speaker:do it. And I knew that like exercise, nature, those were all
Speaker:things that I needed as a regular part of my of my life.
Speaker:And I didn't really fully come to understand it until I went to
Speaker:Australia. I'm from like, the Texas of Canada, which is like
Speaker:very conservative and like, we don't look at our emotions, type
Speaker:cowboys and cowgirls. Australia was, was a good place for me to
Speaker:go because it is very spiritual there. And so I could explore
Speaker:crystals and Reiki and energy healing and all of that, and
Speaker:things of that nature without feeling like judged or worried
Speaker:about anything. So
Speaker:I think that's why my that's why my soul was like, you have to go
Speaker:to Australia. It's your spiritual journey. Yeah, I was
Speaker:calling you. Oh, totally.
Speaker:And remind me again, how long were you in Australia? for eight
Speaker:years. So I went just for like, six months was the initial plan.
Speaker:And then I didn't leave until eight years later when I was
Speaker:kind of forced to.
Speaker:And so how long How long ago was the matrix therapies? training
Speaker:that I took for four years ago. Was that kind of like the main
Speaker:beginning of this like expansion? Absolutely. The first
Speaker:conversation that I had with hit MCI, I was like, yeah, this is
Speaker:it. Like, I know, this is what I need to be doing. And I'm just
Speaker:gonna follow this.
Speaker:And so I, I had already been doing some mindset coaching. I
Speaker:had taken some coaching courses after the psychologist and some
Speaker:of the rah rah
Speaker:And when I did matrix therapies, I was like, This is what I'll be
Speaker:using, with all my clients moving forward like this. This
Speaker:is what everyone needs to experience. Yeah, and you guys,
Speaker:I actually had a session with Tiffany. And it was great, which
Speaker:is funny because I, you know, I do NLP as well, but a different
Speaker:lateral than what she does. And it was really quite a different
Speaker:experience. So if you are interested in having a session
Speaker:with her, you're definitely going to want to do that because
Speaker:it will open your eyes to all kinds of different realities.
Speaker:And yeah, it's like, it's, it never ceases to amaze me like
Speaker:how quickly it works and how profoundly it works for people.
Speaker:Like I'll check in with my clients The day after a session
Speaker:and they're like, holy crap, like, all this stuff happened,
Speaker:like, you know, when I checked in with you, and you're like,
Speaker:all this stuff,
Speaker:manifested overnight, and I was like, that's what I love.
Speaker:That's what happens. I mean, because, truly, you know,
Speaker:healing. In order to heal, you have to even figure out what
Speaker:you're healing from. And so often, we don't know, we have no
Speaker:clue what that trigger event was, that created this
Speaker:limitation in our lives. And that's something that, you know,
Speaker:Tiffany helps with now, in,
Speaker:in her work is helping you find out, okay, where was that
Speaker:actually coming from? Was it even coming from me? Was it
Speaker:coming from someone in my lineage? Was it someone, you
Speaker:know, one of my ancestors, which for me, it ended up being like,
Speaker:my great, great grandma wasn't even me. So how was I supposed
Speaker:to know until diving into it? what that is?
Speaker:Yeah, I think, like, now is such an exciting time to be in a
Speaker:healing process, because we are learning so much about the mind,
Speaker:the body, the soul, how emotions and belief systems are passed
Speaker:down through the genes, how things from two generations ago
Speaker:or even two lifetimes ago can affect our soul in this life.
Speaker:And that we actually don't have to keep playing out that story.
Speaker:Like we can change the story at any point in time. Yeah, and I
Speaker:love that you come from it from like, the scientific standpoint,
Speaker:that's really what drew me into NLP as well was one of the
Speaker:science behind it. I had seen all of the super woowoo you
Speaker:know, hippies going up, and I totally just disconnected from
Speaker:that whole. The,
Speaker:like, proof here, guy.
Speaker:Yeah, absolutely. It's funny. I've done so many talks, where
Speaker:people will come up to me after and say, you know, I saw a
Speaker:presenter last week or last month that said, like, the exact
Speaker:same things that you did, but they were like, they came
Speaker:spiritual first, and then attempted to sprinkle in some
Speaker:science and you're like science first to like, open the door of
Speaker:the mind and be like, Okay, this stuff is legit. And then you
Speaker:throw the woowoo. at us. We're like, Well, we've already got
Speaker:the science. So it has to be. So
Speaker:I think it opens a lot more doors for people. Yeah, I
Speaker:definitely agree. So Tiffany also has a book that she wrote.
Speaker:Can you tell us a little bit about your book? And what kind
Speaker:of inspired this book? Absolutely. So my book is called
Speaker:stop being a selfish bitch, a comprehensive guide to living
Speaker:your best life through radical self love. So it is a very
Speaker:ironic title.
Speaker:And I chose it because I, the for me set being called a
Speaker:selfish bitch was like the thing that a lot of people use to
Speaker:control me through my life to get me to, you know, not move to
Speaker:Australia or not moved to Dallas or not to, you know, travel the
Speaker:world or do the things that I felt like I needed to do. And
Speaker:especially it was used in my last business that I ran in
Speaker:Australia, I was in business with a couple of narcissists.
Speaker:And I loved coaching, I would filter it into what we were
Speaker:doing in our businesses as much as possible. We were working
Speaker:with a lot of athletes so I could, and when I would, you
Speaker:know, have to go home at five o'clock because I'd scheduled in
Speaker:a coaching client for me that night. I'd get a guilt trip
Speaker:about it. And I'm like, I've been here since 6am. Like, it's
Speaker:cool if I go home and do something else with my time
Speaker:doesn't you know, if I was walking the dog we would like
Speaker:because I'm coaching. So I really found like, that was this
Speaker:like great cloud that was always over my head that anytime I was
Speaker:following my heart, I was being selfish, which are following my
Speaker:soul. And I ended up losing everything because of those
Speaker:narcissists that I was in business with they were doing
Speaker:some
Speaker:stuff on the side. And it ended up the blowback impacted me, I
Speaker:was forced to resign, I lost my ability to live and work in
Speaker:Australia had to move back to Canada. And I had a three month
Speaker:gap of selling everything off and packing everything up and
Speaker:moving back home and finishing up some courses, courses that I
Speaker:was doing. And in the process of figuring out, like, what am I
Speaker:going to do?
Speaker:I had a lot of conversations, and the Alberta economy at that
Speaker:time was only just recovering from recession. And like I said
Speaker:before, it's highly conservative. Nobody wants to
Speaker:talk about their motions, especially coming out of a
Speaker:recession. So I had people telling me like, no, nobody's
Speaker:gonna pay you for that. Like, no, it's not a good business
Speaker:model. Not a good idea. You'd make a great receptionist. And I
Speaker:was like, I just like, yeah, you're probably right. Like,
Speaker:I've never been able to fully support myself on coaching,
Speaker:because I never had attempted to before. And I was journaling one
Speaker:day and I said, you know, what do I do? What do I do? What do I
Speaker:do? And this answer just kind of came like, you know what, fear
Speaker:and self doubt self sabotage, you know what that life looks
Speaker:like you've been living it literally your entire life. So
Speaker:what would happen if you just took those things, you just put
Speaker:them up in, in a box on the shelf? And for 365 days
Speaker:straight, you just decided to go all in on yourself? What would
Speaker:that look like? And then I recognize that the people who
Speaker:get coaching with me their life is profoundly changed, like I
Speaker:had, when I was doing this journaling session, I had just
Speaker:finished working with a client who had faced a lifetime of
Speaker:abuse, she had been sexually abused by her dad, she'd been
Speaker:beaten up by her mom. She'd been married three times her first
Speaker:husband was like, psychotic, abusive, physically, sexually,
Speaker:everything to her and her daughter, her second husband
Speaker:ended up being a pedophile who sexually abused her kids like
Speaker:just this horrible life abuse. And in her last session with me,
Speaker:we were going through the clearing process, and I looked
Speaker:down to take notes, and I looked up, and like her face had
Speaker:changed. Like, I kid you not, she had lost 20 years off of her
Speaker:face.
Speaker:And I just I completely lost track of where I was in the
Speaker:session. And I was just like, I was just like, What just
Speaker:happened?
Speaker:Sorry, it was the first time that I had that experience,
Speaker:where I saw somebody have the physical change as a result of,
Speaker:of their clearing. And that was still like, super fresh in my
Speaker:mind. And when I checked in with her The next day, she was like,
Speaker:you know, I used to love singing, I haven't been able to
Speaker:sing in years. And I got in the car, and like my favorite song
Speaker:was playing, and I just belted out the song at the top of my
Speaker:lungs. And it was awesome. And like, She's like, I just had
Speaker:this huge, like, sing along the whole way home. Thank you so
Speaker:much. And as I was journaling that to myself, I just
Speaker:recognized like, there's people out there who haven't met me yet
Speaker:who need the gifts that I have. And I'm a strong believer that
Speaker:we each have a gift, we each have a message or story,
Speaker:whatever it is that we're meant to use to change the world. And
Speaker:it doesn't matter if it's coaching like you and I do or if
Speaker:it's, you know, baking the best apple pie and making somebody
Speaker:stay that way you're doing the best tire change or oil change.
Speaker:And I recognize that if I chose to give into my fear, and my
Speaker:self sabotage my self doubt and what everyone else was telling
Speaker:me. And that belief that if I followed my heart that I was
Speaker:being a selfish bitch, then I was actually being a selfish
Speaker:bitch because I was taking away the future and the healing and
Speaker:the change lives and the transformation from all those
Speaker:people who are yet to meet me. And so stop being a selfish
Speaker:bitch actually started out as my personal project, I decided that
Speaker:I was just going to go all in on myself. I started out the first
Speaker:four months with video, like a daily video diary are
Speaker:documented. Here's everything that I'm doing. I'm submitting
Speaker:articles to addicted to success or to elephant journal or to
Speaker:this or to that. I'm asking for the speaking opportunities. I'm
Speaker:sending 20 emails a day to connect with people and get new
Speaker:clients or get, you know, whatever. And midway through
Speaker:last year, somebody said to me, I think you need to make this a
Speaker:book. And I was like, I can't call a book stop being a selfish
Speaker:bitch. Like I just I can't. And then the universe just kept
Speaker:showing up for me and like every time I went on Amazon or audible
Speaker:It was like, the subtle art of not giving a fuck before unfuck
Speaker:yourself or like all these other books that had some
Speaker:Were words in the title. I was like, Okay, I get it. I
Speaker:mentioned the title. So yes, that's where it came from. I
Speaker:love it. And I'm so excited to read it when it comes. Yes, I'll
Speaker:get it on this Friday.
Speaker:So I have a lot of people who are entrepreneurs on here.
Speaker:Just real quick, what would be your number one tip that you
Speaker:would give to someone who's been thinking about writing a book.
Speaker:Just start, and like, it doesn't have to be perfect. That's what
Speaker:the editing process is for. Like so many people that I talked to,
Speaker:they're like, well, I don't know, you know, I don't know
Speaker:what to say in chapter one. So even though chapter five is in
Speaker:my head, I can't reach out and I'm just like, just like, just
Speaker:start wherever, right? I thought that I was gonna have a specific
Speaker:order to my book totally changed. Just write it. And for
Speaker:me, like, My mind goes really fast. So I didn't actually write
Speaker:my book, I voice recorded my book, when I'd be walking the
Speaker:dog, or when I'd be visiting my parents who lived four hours
Speaker:away, I would just like, turn on The Voice Recorder while I was
Speaker:walking or driving. And I would just talk, like, just talk and
Speaker:talk and talk. And then I sent it into rev.com. They
Speaker:transcribed it all. And then I just sat down, and like edited
Speaker:it.
Speaker:Not so much for the content for the context, but the content.
Speaker:And then I sent it off to an editor and she did all like the
Speaker:fancy stuff, making it look all pretty. Absolutely. I like that
Speaker:tip, the recording, because that's actually something that I
Speaker:do sometimes just for myself, like, instead of like a daily
Speaker:journal, I'll do like a daily voice recording because I'm the
Speaker:same way like, my brain is moving so fast that I can't
Speaker:always like get it down on paper. I know, I wish my hand
Speaker:could move as fast as my brain went. I've lost so many good
Speaker:ideas attempting to write things down. And I'm like, No, wait,
Speaker:what was that?
Speaker:Oh, girl, so.
Speaker:So you do talk about journaling? A lot. And I'm a I'm a big
Speaker:believer in journaling, especially when it comes to
Speaker:like, the manifestation process. How long have you been
Speaker:implementing journaling into your life?
Speaker:I go, I think I go through phases, where I stopped
Speaker:journaling, but honestly like, it was like diaries Dear Diary,
Speaker:when I was little up to like journaling now, so I don't think
Speaker:there's ever really been other than the times where I like,
Speaker:you know, forget to journal or need a new journal or whatever.
Speaker:I've always journaled. Yeah, I'm in the same space. So let's do
Speaker:the little diary things with the, with the little locks on
Speaker:them, too. Yeah.
Speaker:I am.
Speaker:I, they're really great for manifesting. And I think they're
Speaker:also really good for healing. Like I tell my clients to get
Speaker:two journals, a dumping journal that they keep with them all the
Speaker:time. And when they're having a bad day, they can just go to
Speaker:that they can swear they can scribble, they can you know,
Speaker:whatever they need to do, and then burn it. Because there's
Speaker:something really cathartic about, like taking the emotion
Speaker:and making it physical on paper, and then just watching it go up
Speaker:in flames and recognizing
Speaker:and recognizing like, okay, it's gone now.
Speaker:Yeah, it's almost like a little ritual. I mean, you know, some
Speaker:might relate it to witches.
Speaker:It's like a little, it's like a little ritual.
Speaker:Getting rather good at manifesting the energy into the
Speaker:physical and then releasing it. Yeah, yeah. So tell me about how
Speaker:mentorship has played a role in your life. I know. You are an
Speaker:advocate for it, given the fact that we met in a mastermind.
Speaker:Yes, yes.
Speaker:I think it's so important. Like, for me, and choosing the right
Speaker:mentor, like don't just have a mentor for the sake of having a
Speaker:mentor. I've had some good mentors, and I've had some
Speaker:terrible ones.
Speaker:So recognize, like, what is your intention for working with that
Speaker:mentor? And what is their intention for working with you?
Speaker:I have had a couple clients come to me recently, who were like,
Speaker:Oh, I had this coach. But it kind of started feeling like
Speaker:they were coaching me for their own ego. And I think that
Speaker:especially like, I know, my coaching journey, I totally
Speaker:started out in coaching from ego like, Oh, well, I got you these
Speaker:results. So you know
Speaker:where it is. Now. I'm like, my clients have experienced this
Speaker:and I've facilitated a process. I'm just happy for
Speaker:Their breakthrough, right?
Speaker:So yeah, know what their, what their intention for mentoring
Speaker:you is as well, I think it's important to
Speaker:stand on the shoulders of giants, so to speak, like you
Speaker:can cut your learning curve so fast, if you know what not to
Speaker:do, if you know the mistakes not to make.
Speaker:So obviously, I'm in the one mastermind with you right now.
Speaker:And then I have another
Speaker:mentor and Marshall silver. And I just look at the way he set up
Speaker:his business, he's happy for me to ask them questions. And then
Speaker:I mirror or model my business off the pages, and it's hugely
Speaker:taken off. So I mean, if somebody has already spent
Speaker:1000s, or hundreds 1000s, or even millions of dollars, on
Speaker:creating a business and messing up, like,
Speaker:if you can get those lessons without spending the hundreds of
Speaker:1000s of millions, like you're so far ahead.
Speaker:Yeah, now in the in the coaching industry, it can be interesting,
Speaker:because there are all different kinds of people, just like
Speaker:you're saying,
Speaker:who are entering into the industry? So what would be like
Speaker:a, what's your screening process?
Speaker:For me to, to hire a mentor? Exactly.
Speaker:Um, I needed like, a good energetic vibe from them. And I
Speaker:need a good
Speaker:first impression, but I like to, I'm an observer. So oftentimes,
Speaker:I will watch someone come in the room and see how they greet
Speaker:other people see how they show up around other people, not just
Speaker:when they're attempting to sell me. So it's kind of like, for
Speaker:me, it's kind of like a first date, like, I'm engaged. Now,
Speaker:when I was dating. After that one breakup, I decided that when
Speaker:I started dating, I was going to do it different and like not do
Speaker:the formal dinners were sitting across from each other. And it's
Speaker:super awkward, and both on your best behavior.
Speaker:And so for me, what I found was, I would say, like, let's do
Speaker:something different. You think of a different idea whether it's
Speaker:mini golf, or like, I've done like mini golf, rock climbing,
Speaker:goes tours, winery tours, like, all sorts of stuff for first
Speaker:dates, and it gives you an idea of who that person is. And I
Speaker:think it's the same with a mentor, like,
Speaker:see if you can get them in a situation where you can kind of
Speaker:witness them in their more unconscious behavior, and see
Speaker:what comes up for you. I know that in some cases, it's not
Speaker:always like that. And so then I look at, you know, what is the
Speaker:reputation? What, uh, what do people that I respect to know
Speaker:them have to say?
Speaker:And what is the impact that they're leaving on the world?
Speaker:Like, are they doing this to make millions so that they can
Speaker:just go sit in Mexico and sip margaritas? Or do they genuinely
Speaker:care about making change in the world?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah. And I mean, that's, that's huge with, you know, the
Speaker:mentorship group that we're in.
Speaker:And really, knowing the intention behind someone's
Speaker:actions is something that sometimes it's like more of a
Speaker:gut kind of instinct response. It's one of those things that
Speaker:you have to really lean into your intuition.
Speaker:As far as how the feeling of that manifests now to jump
Speaker:backwards in your journey. So I just had a question popped up in
Speaker:my head.
Speaker:When you were first really deciding to go all in, you are
Speaker:first really launching your business?
Speaker:What were some of those first things that you started to do
Speaker:before you had like all of the connections that you have now? I
Speaker:think I've always been an outside of the box thinker. So
Speaker:that has benefited me really well. So I did a couple of
Speaker:different things. I put on a workshop for myself. I started
Speaker:putting out a lot of content on Facebook, just adding value to
Speaker:people.
Speaker:And then I later learned that that's the best way to get
Speaker:clients. I was like, Oh, perfect. I'm already doing this.
Speaker:And then I really wanted to, I knew that I could leverage other
Speaker:people's databases. So because I moved back at Christmas time. I
Speaker:knew that like New Year's resolutions were going to be a
Speaker:big thing for people.
Speaker:mindset was going to be the number one thing that killed all
Speaker:of those, right? So I reached out to gyms, yoga studios,
Speaker:Pilates studios, chiropractic clinics.
Speaker:Anyone anything in like the fitness space that's really like
Speaker:impacted January 1 with all the new year's resolutions. And I
Speaker:just offered like a free 60 minute talk. And then I'd
Speaker:present like, very basic NLP concepts, but add a ton of value
Speaker:to people and then say, you know, if you want all this
Speaker:information that I've talked about with a quiz to figure out
Speaker:like what learning style you are, if you leave me your email,
Speaker:I'll send you my ebook. And so then I built my list that way, I
Speaker:don't think I've ever done a talk where I haven't had at
Speaker:least one person sign up to be a client. And then that led to
Speaker:referrals. And then you know, just nurturing the database
Speaker:sending out weekly videos, about just different topics until I
Speaker:hit on the one that got the person to buy. So it was it was
Speaker:a lot of legwork. Initially, I still find it to be the best
Speaker:though. Like even now, like I still find, you know, doing like
Speaker:free little talks within the community as my way of giving
Speaker:back to the community always ends up. Like I've gotten
Speaker:corporate deals out of that I've gotten, like super high point
Speaker:paying clients I've gotten I've had schools reach out to me and
Speaker:asked me to train their teachers like, yeah, so I just I just
Speaker:focused on adding value and every possible way that I could.
Speaker:I really liked that tip for for my people, because some of them
Speaker:don't necessarily have like massive social media followings
Speaker:are like all these things that the New Age entrepreneur feels
Speaker:like they need to have, when in reality, all you need to do is
Speaker:just go out there and do exactly what Tiffany is talking about
Speaker:and provide value to people show up in the way that you know how
Speaker:to show up, that can provide value to people. And that's how,
Speaker:you know, Tiffany has been able to build such a big business,
Speaker:and I'm sure she's gonna be hitting six are gonna be hitting
Speaker:seven figures here very soon, because I know she's doing all
Speaker:of the amazing.
Speaker:Thank you. And like, yeah, you don't you totally do not need a
Speaker:big following like, I only just hit 5000 people on Facebook,
Speaker:like last week. So you can, you know, it's, it's, I'd rather
Speaker:have. And I know that this has said a lot on social media, I
Speaker:genuinely mean it. Like I would rather have 10 people who are
Speaker:evangelical and tell everyone about me than 10 people or 100
Speaker:people who are like, hey, so right. Yeah. And that's
Speaker:something that can be like a mental block for us. Sometimes I
Speaker:know, it was a little bit of a mental block for me before I
Speaker:started this podcast, actually, because I was like, Well, I
Speaker:have, you know, 2500 people on Instagram or whatever, you know,
Speaker:and it's like, who actually cares? Who's actually gonna want
Speaker:to listen? And it turns out that there actually are a lot of
Speaker:people that care and a lot of people that want to listen, you
Speaker:know, and it's, it has nothing to do with the number and
Speaker:everything to do with the quality of those people.
Speaker:Absolutely. And then I would say like, the second biggest tip
Speaker:that I could give people is just put yourself out there, like you
Speaker:have no idea who will say yes to you. And I think a lot of people
Speaker:get put in this position of, well, they'll probably just say
Speaker:no to me anyway. So I'll just, I don't want to waste my time. The
Speaker:thing is, like, even if they say no to your pitch, you get better
Speaker:at pitching.
Speaker:Right. Like recently, I spoke at one of Marshall Silver's events
Speaker:last March, march this past year. And he has another event
Speaker:coming up next week. And I said, I'd really like to present that.
Speaker:Like, just maybe I'll just I'll just wait and see if he asked me
Speaker:and then I was like, No, like, When have I ever lived from I'll
Speaker:just wait and see if they come to me. perspective. Like, just
Speaker:go for it. Right? people, people don't know who you are until you
Speaker:put yourself in front of them. And just because they say no
Speaker:once doesn't mean that they won't follow you or they won't
Speaker:watch like, I had a call this morning with this guy who's an
Speaker:eight figure business owner and he was like, you know, I hate
Speaker:coaches and I hate the coaching industry. And I've been doing a
Speaker:lot of research on you and like you're super legit, and I want
Speaker:to do some work with you in some way. That was just like, okay,
Speaker:and this is somebody who's worked with like Robert Kiyosaki
Speaker:and Tony Robbins and I'm like, Yeah, okay, yes, please like
Speaker:Let's do it. So, you know, just just ask for the conversation or
Speaker:ask, ask for the opportunity and the like, literally, the worst
Speaker:thing they can do is say, No, you're, you know, you're not
Speaker:going to spontaneously combust your arms and legs won't fall
Speaker:off. You will live to see another day. Just, you know, be
Speaker:willing to put yourself out there. Because you can't nobody
Speaker:can say yes, if you don't, either. Yeah, there's no
Speaker:opportunities if you just stay in your safety zone.
Speaker:Yeah, so putting yourself out there, it can be really scary
Speaker:sometimes Woody, what do you do to like combat the fear that
Speaker:comes up or did come up.
Speaker:I actually spent a lot of time getting intentional. When I
Speaker:moved back from Australia, I realized that I hadn't
Speaker:necessarily always operated within my personal core values,
Speaker:in business and in life down there. And I went through this
Speaker:phase being like really pissed off at myself that I allowed
Speaker:myself to be put in a position where I could be manipulated to
Speaker:act, outside of integrity or, or things like that. And then I
Speaker:realized that I didn't actually know what my core values were,
Speaker:I'd hadn't taken the time to, like, really connect with them.
Speaker:So I'm super clear about what my mission in this life is, like,
Speaker:my mission in this life is to empower 1 million people to live
Speaker:an intentional life that's aligned with the truth of their
Speaker:soul. And I connect with that every single day. And every
Speaker:single decision that I make is based on that. So when it's a
Speaker:issue of like, Oh, I have to go live, but I don't have makeup on
Speaker:will, does the mat does the message matter, or the fact that
Speaker:I don't have mascara, like, what is more important right now the
Speaker:mission or looking good on camera? Right? So and I get just
Speaker:as many views when my hair is up and my makeups not on as I do if
Speaker:I'm like all dressed to the nines. So I think when you get
Speaker:really intentional about your life, and like, like we talked
Speaker:about before, with a mentor, when you know why you're doing
Speaker:things, then the fear kind of just disappears, because all of
Speaker:a sudden, the other side of it than not doing it has way more
Speaker:fear and negativity attached to it than the possibility of like
Speaker:failing or rejection or whatever. So like, for me, if I
Speaker:think about not empowering those million people I like I feel my
Speaker:soul dying. One of the ways that I motivated myself when I first
Speaker:came back, and I was having one of those days of like, oh,
Speaker:nothing's happening as fast as I want it to and like, Can I
Speaker:really keep going with this? Because I'd go on indeed.com.
Speaker:And I'd start looking at job postings. And then I'd be like,
Speaker:right back to work. Any day, I was just like, I don't want to
Speaker:just like pull up indeed on my phone or on my laptop. And then
Speaker:I'd be like, Oh, my God, that the nine to five hell that's
Speaker:waiting on the other side of this is far scarier than
Speaker:anything that could happen in taking a risk in my business.
Speaker:When sometimes we forget the other side, too, because I've
Speaker:definitely been in that place as well, where I'm like, wait,
Speaker:okay, so you guys want, you know, 10,000 years of school,
Speaker:and you're paying $11 an hour? Yeah. Yeah. Right. Like, just,
Speaker:yeah. So know what your intention is like for your life.
Speaker:Like, get really clear about what you want your legacy to be
Speaker:doesn't matter how much money you have in the bank, or how
Speaker:much you know how old you are, just get really intentional,
Speaker:intentional about what this life means for you. And
Speaker:the fear doesn't really kick in so much anymore.
Speaker:So what if you're kind of struggling to find what your
Speaker:intention is, and you just feel like you're kind of lost in life
Speaker:just moving through the motions? How would you suggest to start
Speaker:the process of getting clear? That's a great question. What I
Speaker:do with my clients is I actually get them to close their eyes and
Speaker:visualize that they're a fly on the wall at their funeral.
Speaker:That's, that's what I get them to do. And I get that it's kind
Speaker:of morbid. At the same time. It's like super powerful,
Speaker:because like, do you want people at your funeral who are there
Speaker:just because they have to be
Speaker:because it's the thing to do when somebody dies or do you
Speaker:want people there because they're celebrating the impact
Speaker:and like, you don't necessarily like the intention that I just
Speaker:told you. That's like my eight three right of it. The for the
Speaker:first time. I did this for myself. I had to like it was not
Speaker:that clear. I just had to feel
Speaker:And I would move towards that feeling of like impact and
Speaker:change. And like, empowerment really is ultimately what it is.
Speaker:And so it's okay, if you can't verbalize it straight away, like
Speaker:the words will come, I think we get caught in this place of
Speaker:like, it's not real, if I can't verbalize it, but your feelings
Speaker:are real. So just, like, know the feeling, and work towards
Speaker:that every day, what's the feeling that you want to leave
Speaker:each and every person you come into contact with?
Speaker:And then start working from that place? Like it and it is a
Speaker:process, you know, you've kind of been on this personal growth
Speaker:journey now for a decade, right? So yeah, it's not something that
Speaker:you're gonna just one day be like, Oh, that's it.
Speaker:Yeah. And the things that you love doing, like, they'll work
Speaker:into it in some way. I've had so many coaches and mentors Tell me
Speaker:like, you just have to, you have to pick one thing you have to
Speaker:pick, like, you can't work with general population. And
Speaker:corporate, and athletes. Just if you want to be successful, you
Speaker:have to pick one. And my thing is, my one thing is empowering
Speaker:them to live an intentional life. Like the message that I
Speaker:talked about to all of them is the same. That's my one thing.
Speaker:So I just, you know, that's all that matters is that that's the
Speaker:message I'm sharing. And all the things that I love, the yoga,
Speaker:the acro, yoga, courses, meditation, travel, like, all of
Speaker:that will find a way to manifest in your purpose, and in the
Speaker:things that you love. You just have to figure it out. You just
Speaker:have to know that feeling that you're working towards. And the
Speaker:puzzle pieces will click. Exactly, yeah, that's, I've been
Speaker:told very similar because I have all of the passions and all of
Speaker:the ideas. And that's something that I allowed to hold myself
Speaker:back for a very long time, not realizing that, actually, you
Speaker:know what this feels good. So this is okay. And that whole
Speaker:logic thing, which I am very logical
Speaker:in nature, and that's logic brain has held me back a lot.
Speaker:And I feel like, that's one of the biggest things that's
Speaker:holding back other people, as well as feeling that it has to
Speaker:be a certain way, all of the big, big teachers are talking
Speaker:about niching down getting super, super specific, when we
Speaker:forget that we can be specific in our messaging. And the way
Speaker:that we deliver our message, the way that I deliver my message is
Speaker:going to be completely different than the way that you deliver
Speaker:your message. However, we're both seeing the same things. And
Speaker:that's our niche ourselves. Yeah, absolutely. I mean,
Speaker:there's gonna be people who are attracted to your story, more
Speaker:than they're attracted to mine. Right. And that's cool. As long
Speaker:as they are going on the journey of empowerment. I actually tell
Speaker:my clients, like we have to have an initial session first, before
Speaker:we decide to work together. Because if you don't feel like
Speaker:you can open up to me or you don't like me, or you trigger
Speaker:me, or I trigger you, then this won't work. So we, you know, I
Speaker:would rather have that time to have a quick chat with you. And
Speaker:make sure that like we are comfortable with each other
Speaker:before we move into anything, but yeah, I've had so many
Speaker:people, like, your coaching business will not be successful
Speaker:if you're doing all of these things. And I'm like, I like to
Speaker:prove people wrong. So Game on.
Speaker:Let's do it. That's right.
Speaker:All right, Tiffany. So the time has gone by very quickly. But if
Speaker:there was one final thought one last note that you want to leave
Speaker:the listeners with that they only get one thing out of this
Speaker:whole talk. What would that be
Speaker:that you are far more powerful than you even realize?
Speaker:And I think we can't we have like this feeling of like, Oh,
Speaker:well, if I heal this thing, then I know that I wouldn't be
Speaker:dragging this weight around with me through life. You don't
Speaker:realize how quickly you get propelled forward when you start
Speaker:that healing journey. There's a quote by Thomas Edison that says
Speaker:if we were to do all the things that we were truly capable of,
Speaker:we would literally astound ourselves. And it like I look at
Speaker:it every day because it's so true. Like we just we have zero
Speaker:idea what our true potential is and how much power we have.
Speaker:That's so good. That's a perfect ending now. Okay, Tiffany. So
Speaker:where can people find you they want to watch your daily she
Speaker:puts out live videos every day pretty much and as always
Speaker:sharing amazing content where can they find you? So all the
Speaker:links to my social media are on my Facebook page or on my
Speaker:website, Blue Lotus mind calm like color Lotus like flower of
Speaker:mind, like your brain, or facebook.com forward slash Blue
Speaker:Lotus mind. Lovely and then I will share a link to all of her
Speaker:links
Speaker:in the show notes in the description as well thank you so
Speaker:much Tiffany, for taking time out of your day to share your
Speaker:message and to come on the show with me. Thank you so much for
Speaker:having me. It's been awesome.
Speaker:Thank you for tuning in to today's episode of The becoming
Speaker:the big me podcast. If you found value in today's episode, make
Speaker:sure to leave us a review and share this episode with someone
Speaker:who needs to hear this message. That's how our podcast grows.
Speaker:Are you curious about learning more about harnessing the power
Speaker:of your subconscious mind. then join the free rewire challenge
Speaker:where we dive deep into the subconscious mind how it works
Speaker:and give you some tangible action steps to began rewiring
Speaker:it to serve you go to bit.li slash rewire challenge that
Speaker:bit.li slash rewire challenge. Until next time. I'm your host
