Episode 19

Emotional Dumping

Let's dive into emotional dumping. We've all done it and we've all had it done to us! Sometimes there is stuck/pent up energy inside that just NEEDS to be released. How does one do it in a healthy way? How does one be a vessel for others to do it in a healthy way? This episode will give you all the deets.

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Hi! I am your host Djemilah Birnie of www.becomingthebigme.com . I have been building businesses online since the age of 17. When I discovered the power that we hold within our own minds my world truly began to change.

I love to write and have published some books, some of them have even hit some charts 😲 You can check them out here http://bit.ly/djemilahbooks

Ready to start playing BIG and step into your Big Me potential by harnessing the power of your mind? Then make sure you join the free Rewire challenge to get all the tools you need! https://www.djemilah.com/rewirechallenge

Don't forget to check out the little lady's podcast "A Kid's Perspective" where she answers your questions on all of life's most pressing issues, in her eyes, a kid! http://bit.ly/akidsperspective

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Transcript
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Our

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hardships going on. There are challenges there are

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difficulties happening in the family, someone's going through

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something really hard. Something that is difficult is off trying

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time. And they need to be able to speak to someone they need to

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be able to release what they're feeling, what they're going

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through what's happening inside of them. Because it is very

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important to release it is extremely important to get out

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what you're feeling what you're thinking. But you have to be

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really careful because you can really negatively impact other

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people, too.

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Hello, fellow Earthlings. Welcome to the becoming the big

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me podcast. I'm your host, Djemilah Birnie. And together,

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we will be stepping into our highest potential, exploring all

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things

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mind, body, and soul. With justice, major business, your

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spiritual badass solopreneur, and a warrior for change, you're

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ready to expand your impact and leave your old self behind in

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order to raise your vibration so that you can positively

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influence your business, your community, and ultimately, the

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world. Without further ado, let's dive right into it.

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Hello, Hello,

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today I have a really awesome and important topic of

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conversation to talk about. Now, this is going to be important

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for you, if you are a human being this is important, whether

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you're a parent, whether you're in a relationship, whether

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you're a business owner, whether you interact with people ever in

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your entire life, this is for you. And this topic is important

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to talk about. And this came up recently in a client in a

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coaching clients, sessions. And I realized that I've never

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really talked about this particular subject before, on a

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public note, but this issue is something that we all deal with,

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on a constant basis, myself included, this is something that

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needs to be talked about needs to be shared. So here we are. So

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what we're talking about today is emotional dumping. What is

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emotional dumping, how to channel it and how to not do it

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to other people. So basically, emotional dumping is when you

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have stuff going on inside of you. inside of your body, you

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have different emotions, different feelings, different

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thoughts, and you don't really know how to process them very

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well. And you need to get them out, you need to release them

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from your body, you need to dump them out of yourself because

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this energy is just like stuck inside you and it doesn't feel

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good. So you just need to release it. So I don't have you

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ever heard of the concept of the chain of yelling. So like a

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higher up in an organization yells at, you know, a manager, a

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manager then yells at an employee, an employee then yells

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at, you know, goes home and yells at their kids, their kids

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go to school and then start yelling at people. So the chain

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of yelling is complete emotional dumping, that's the entire

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chain. It's someone has something inside of them that

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they need to dump off on to other people. And then once they

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dump that load on to someone else, that other person is now

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holding that emotional load inside of them. And so then they

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need to go and dump it off onto someone else. And then that just

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continues. This is something that happens all the time in

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families or loved ones when there are hardships going on.

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There are challenges there are difficulties happening in the

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family, someone's going through something really hard something

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that is difficult is trying time and they need to be able to

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speak to someone they need to be able to release what they're

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feeling, what they're going through what's happening inside

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of them because it is very important to release it is

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extremely important to get out what you're feeling what you're

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thinking. But you have to be really careful because you can

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really negatively impact Other people, depending on how you are

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emotionally dumping, depending on what state of mind, the

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person who you're dumping on is whether or not they're aware

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that of the energetic exchange that's going on or not. Because

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if they're not aware of the energetic exchange that's going

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on, they're just absorbing your emotional dumping. And all of a

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sudden, now they have this need to dump on other people. I'm

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sure you've experienced this before, have you ever had

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someone who just got really frustrated at you, and you

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couldn't figure out why. And then it just put you off in this

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other kind of weird space, and you find yourself going off on

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someone else. Or maybe it's not necessarily like they're going

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off on you, maybe it's just, they're having to release what

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they're going through at that moment. And maybe you start to

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feel like you're carrying their weight as well, you feel like

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you are now having this the same burden that they are carrying.

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And

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the thing

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with emotional dumping is, one, it's extremely important to be

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able to dump emotions. Just because you don't want to keep

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that negativity inside of you, you don't want to keep those

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thoughts and all of that stuff inside of you, you do need to

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let it out. But the second thing about emotional dumping is it

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can also

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be very dangerous

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to other people like in ways that we can't necessarily see or

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understand at the moment. So I'm going to just dive into this

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concept more how you can become a channel when people are

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dumping on you how you can become a channel so that you're

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not perpetuating the chain of yelling, you're not perpetuating

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the emotional dumping, and you're actually allowing this

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person to release without absorbing. And then I'm also

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going to talk about how you can dump your emotions, how you can

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release this pent up stuff energy, without doing it to

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others and without it affecting others. You might be asking,

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Why

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do you want to teach me how to channel it. But then you're also

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going to teach me how to not do it to others? Why can't I just

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like teach others how to not dump on me and how they should

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do it?

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Well, the thing is,

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that's not always something that is possible to do. People are

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not necessarily as quote unquote, woke as you, most

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people are not in the same headspace as you and not self

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aware. In fact, the majority of our population is extremely,

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extremely, not self aware. And you're going to find that there

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are going to be you know, loved ones in your life, who don't

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have the self awareness to not dump on you. And they, they

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don't see it as anything except for them just trying to talk to

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you about what they're going through or what's going on. So

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that's why it's important to be able to learn how to be a

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channel for these people, because it is extremely,

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extremely important to release those emotions, emotions, those

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pent up feelings and those thoughts. So you, the last thing

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that you want is to box them away, put them in a drawer and

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close it up, because it's just going to resurface as a bigger

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problem, it's just going to manifest itself in other ways

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into your life. So we want to, you know, allow people to

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release this emotion to release it, but we don't want them to.

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But we don't want we don't want to absorb it. We don't want to

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then take on that emotional, you know that emotional stress and

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then go and perpetuate the chain and continue to dump onto

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others. So I'm just going to give you a quick couple

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examples. So for example, you know, after school a lot of

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times when I pick up my daughter, she will emotionally

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dump on me. And I get it the school day can be a lot It is

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extremely overstimulating there all kinds of kids all kinds of

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interactions, all kinds of energetic stuff happening

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throughout the day at school, that when she gets home, she

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sometimes can be extremely rude and say things I know that she

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doesn't mean and just like be in a emotionally unstable Place,

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but I realize that this is just her process, you know, after

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1015 minutes at like one more home, when we're alone when

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we're away from everything, then she will return back to her

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normal, happy, energetic self, but she has to go through this

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emotional dumping process just because there was so much

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emotion so much that she took on throughout the day that she now

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needs to release it from her body, so that she can even go

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back to herself. Another example is, you know, with my family of

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like, sometimes when different things are going on with our

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family, whether that be someone sick, someone is, you know, in

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and out of the hospital, and

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tibbett you know, what

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the the sick person might dump on someone else, one of our

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other family members that family member might go and on another

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family member and it just like, it continues in that way.

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So how

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do you channel it? How do you channel these emotional dumpings

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when people are doing it to you. So the first thing is, you need

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to realize what's going on, you need to realize, Oh, this person

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is dumping right now. So basically, that's their

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complaint. It's either like a complaint. Um, I mean, you can,

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you will be able to tell when people are emotionally dumping

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on you, it's typically complaining about something or

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speaking about something in a way that obviously is, you know,

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has been weighed weighing on them, they're obviously holding

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on to a lot of pent up emotion about whatever the topic is, and

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they're trying to release it. And in releasing it, they're

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speaking to you about it, so that they can release it. So the

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first thing you need to do is you need to identify it. The

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second thing you need to do is you need to realize that you are

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playing an extremely important role in that person's life, you

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are there to help them get rid of this stuff pent up energy

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that they're feeling that you are there to help be a channel

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for them. To get rid of this stuck energy that they're

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holding on to, you are playing an important role. So you The

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second thing you need to do is you need to understand how

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important the role that you're playing is. And instead of, you

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know, maybe getting upset at the person or feeling like upset is

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not necessarily the right word. But just like feeling like maybe

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it's a burden to be the one that everyone always goes to with

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their problems. I know like growing up that was kind of

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always me is that people, a lot of people would dump their

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problems on me I was someone that people always felt like

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they could talk to you really well. And so they would do, they

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would dump their problems on me. And I think that's one of the

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reasons why I've learned, you know, kind of this the art of

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the emotional dump. Because I've had to kind of learn how to

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channel a lot myself, so that I'm not soaking up the dumping

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that's happening. Um, so you have identified that they're

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dumping on you. And you have now realized that your role is

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important. And now you can be thankful, be thankful that you

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have this awareness of what's going on, be thankful that you

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are in the state of mind, but you can be this channel for that

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person, be thankful for your position. And now this is where

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we're gonna like start going down a little bit more of the

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Whoo, energetic quantum path. So at this point, what you're going

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to want to do is you're going to want to just breathe in and out

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one or two times, and say a little mantra to yourself, in

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your head and just, you basically it's going to depend

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on your specific spiritual beliefs, whether that be source

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universe, God or any other diety. You're basically just

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going to say, you know, for me, I would say source or universe,

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I'd say thank you universe for allowing me to be this channel

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for persons name. Allow this information to flow through me

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and back to you source because you have all of the answers.

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Thank you for watching. calling us to release these emotions.

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And that's it just like do a couple deep breaths like that.

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Just like say a little mantra doesn't have to be you know,

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word for word, the same as that mantra. That's just what I do.

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But just, you know, say a couple little deep breaths, say a

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couple deep breaths, take a couple of deep breaths, say your

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little mantra, basically, just being thankful, being grateful.

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Understand, coming

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from a place of awareness, understanding that the role that

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you're playing is extremely important in this person's life,

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it is going to help them but you don't have to carry the weight

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of it. You don't have to carry the weight of it at all, the

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universe has your back, God has your back, you know,

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what any,

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you know, whatever day it you know, all that, well, anything

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that you believe in, like you are being protected, you're

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taking care of you don't have to carry the burden alone, you're

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just there to be a channel, whether you know, even like your

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ancestors, anything, spirit, anything. There is a force

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greater than us in this world. That's something that I am

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unwavering about how that manifests in your life is up to

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you. But there is a force that's greater than just us human

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beings on this planet. And use that force, use

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the Force,

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allow yourself to just be a channel back to the to the

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source and, and know that sources going to, to take care

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of you and reproductive protect you. So that's that it's really

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simple. That's how you channel it. And then after you're done

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with, you know, their conversation, you're done.

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Speaking with

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that person,

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again, just take another minute, like, it doesn't have to be a

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big deal. It doesn't have to be this big, whole hour long

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frickin ritual thing. Like everyone tries to overcomplicate

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everything, no, it can literally be like, two or three deep

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breaths in and out, and just again, thanking yourself for

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being able to be this channel for that person. And then just

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stating, again, like, I release this emotional state, I release

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this energy from my body, and just breathe it in and out. And

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literally visualize, like, that emotion, that stuff, that energy

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that they just like, poured into you. Now just imagine that

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flowing out of you flowing through you, you are not, you

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know, the pool to collect all of this stuff, you're just the

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channel, you are just a vessel for it to leave that other

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person's body.

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Okay,

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so now let's talk about how to not do it to others, how are you

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going to not emotionally dump your shit onto others. Um, now,

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I do just want to be very clear, like, sometimes you do need to

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speak it out and talk it out with another human being. Um,

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so always

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make sure that the person that you are dumping on is in the

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right mental space to be able to dump on them. Um, you know,

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like, don't, it's just, it's everything is really about

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awareness. Make sure you're not dumping on your kids, they don't

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understand it, obviously, like, make sure that you're going to

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someone who has some level of awareness, and you can just

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straight up tell them like, Are you in a un? Are you in a state

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of mind right now? Where I can dump on you? Like, ask that

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question. That's always a good, a good thing, because sometimes

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it might be a very normally pretty emotionally stable

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person, but they might be like, going through some shit at that

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moment. And maybe they're not, it's not a good time for you to

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dump on that. So before you're gonna dump on someone, unless

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it's someone like me, who is who's a coach and who, you know,

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is does more personalized, you know, therapy type sessions, you

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don't necessarily have to ask me if it's okay to dump on me

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because that's, you know, what I'm being paid for. But if it's

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just a friend, or you know, a family member or something like

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that, just ask them. Are you in an emotionally stable place

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right now where I can dump on you, or I can dump what I'm

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going through on you? And if they say, No, don't be offended,

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because it's nothing personal. It has nothing to do with you.

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It just has to do with them. And that's, that's, that's fine. So,

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ask and then just make sure that they understand that you're

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dumping. If, if that's, you know, what needs to happen, and

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I believe that sometimes, it doesn't need to happen with

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another human being because we are humans and we crave

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connection and that is just Like wired in us, we want to speak to

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other people about things. And sometimes we need to, like talk

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it out with a third opinion, right.

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But

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for the things that you need to

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dump, that you don't necessarily need to,

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you

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know, tell two other people you don't necessarily need to dump

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on others. What I suggest for you, is figure out how to dump

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it for yourself. So for me, like journaling, wow, that has been

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powerful. journaling is so powerful. The other thing that I

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do his voice memos, because sometimes my brain is going like

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way faster than my hand can write. And I just need to get

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the shout at me, I just need to release it, I just need to get

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out, get out. And I will just word vomit. And I'll just do a

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voice memo recording on my phone, whatever, just to like,

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dump everything that I'm feeling dumped this shit. Again, I don't

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know if I said it on my podcast, but I know I've said it on

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Instagram. Sometimes you're going to write down things that

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aren't positive. That's going to happen in this emotional dumping

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phase, you're gonna write down shit that's not positive. And I

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know a lot of manifestation teachers and coaches are like,

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you should always, you know, write down, you know, positive

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things like writing is so important to manifestation and

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like don't attach it to anything negative, I totally get that.

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But this is a different process, when you are dumping your

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emotions, you need to just stream of consciousness, write

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it down, however it's coming, whatever you're feeling, and you

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just need to release it. A fun practice that you can do is you

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could even, you know, you can if you're journaling, and you're

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writing it down, this is you know, a little bit extra. But it

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can be fun. And it can be like a cool ritual to have is when you

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are having these emotions that you need to dump, you can dump

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them, dump them out on paper, write them all out. And then you

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can actually like burn them and release them into the universe

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and just kind of do a very similar mantra, little

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meditation. As I was saying before, if you are becoming a

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channel for another person, just you know, release those

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feelings, those emotions back to source, think about that,

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visualize that as you like, burn the paper or whatever. Again,

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like totally extra, like not necessary. But the cool thing

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with this with this process, if you're doing voice memos, or

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whatever, you can now go back, you know, when you're not in

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such an emotionally charged state, like maybe the next day

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or the next couple of days, and you can really listen to it and

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then you can dissect it. And you can basically poke holes in your

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emotional state in like the negativity, you can look for

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anything that you can start poking holes in. That's not

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true. And that's just going to help with the process

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completely. So that's emotional dumping. That's how I feel about

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emotional dumping. That's what it is, look around you, like

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really look around you, you will start to notice people dumping

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all over each other all the time. This is something that

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happens constantly, because like I stated at the beginning, most

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people are not aware, most people don't really understand

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what ripple effect their actions have the the complaints will

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ever they don't. They just don't have the level of awareness that

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you have, or the you know, it's, it's something that takes time.

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And now that you are aware, you're gonna start seeing it

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everywhere. I I'm serious, like especially if you're a parent,

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you're gonna see it happening at on the playground and like with

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your kids, like everywhere. So if you enjoyed this episode, it

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would mean so much to me, if you could share it with one friend

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who you think would enjoy this episode as well. If there's

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someone else who you think could benefit from learning about

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emotional dumping, dumping, either. They're in a position

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where they are getting dumped on emotionally all the time. And

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they need to learn how to channel it because maybe they're

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taking it on and it's weighing them down. Like share this

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episode with them. Let them know this is how my podcast grows,

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just trying to get out spread, spread positivity, raise the

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vibration of this planet and truly make an impact on this

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world.

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Thank you for tuning in. Today's episode of The becoming the big

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me podcasts. If you found value in today's episode, make sure to

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leave us a review and share this episode with someone who needs

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to hear this message. That's how our podcast grows. Are you

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curious about learning more about harnessing the power of

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your subconscious mind? then join the free rewire challenge

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it to serve you go to bit.li slash rewire challenge that

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bit.li slash rewire challenge. Until next time, I'm your host

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