Episode 19
Emotional Dumping
Let's dive into emotional dumping. We've all done it and we've all had it done to us! Sometimes there is stuck/pent up energy inside that just NEEDS to be released. How does one do it in a healthy way? How does one be a vessel for others to do it in a healthy way? This episode will give you all the deets.
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Hi! I am your host Djemilah Birnie of www.becomingthebigme.com . I have been building businesses online since the age of 17. When I discovered the power that we hold within our own minds my world truly began to change.
I love to write and have published some books, some of them have even hit some charts 😲 You can check them out here http://bit.ly/djemilahbooks
Ready to start playing BIG and step into your Big Me potential by harnessing the power of your mind? Then make sure you join the free Rewire challenge to get all the tools you need! https://www.djemilah.com/rewirechallenge
Don't forget to check out the little lady's podcast "A Kid's Perspective" where she answers your questions on all of life's most pressing issues, in her eyes, a kid! http://bit.ly/akidsperspective
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Transcript
Our
Speaker:hardships going on. There are challenges there are
Speaker:difficulties happening in the family, someone's going through
Speaker:something really hard. Something that is difficult is off trying
Speaker:time. And they need to be able to speak to someone they need to
Speaker:be able to release what they're feeling, what they're going
Speaker:through what's happening inside of them. Because it is very
Speaker:important to release it is extremely important to get out
Speaker:what you're feeling what you're thinking. But you have to be
Speaker:really careful because you can really negatively impact other
Speaker:people, too.
Speaker:Hello, fellow Earthlings. Welcome to the becoming the big
Speaker:me podcast. I'm your host, Djemilah Birnie. And together,
Speaker:we will be stepping into our highest potential, exploring all
Speaker:things
Speaker:mind, body, and soul. With justice, major business, your
Speaker:spiritual badass solopreneur, and a warrior for change, you're
Speaker:ready to expand your impact and leave your old self behind in
Speaker:order to raise your vibration so that you can positively
Speaker:influence your business, your community, and ultimately, the
Speaker:world. Without further ado, let's dive right into it.
Speaker:Hello, Hello,
Speaker:today I have a really awesome and important topic of
Speaker:conversation to talk about. Now, this is going to be important
Speaker:for you, if you are a human being this is important, whether
Speaker:you're a parent, whether you're in a relationship, whether
Speaker:you're a business owner, whether you interact with people ever in
Speaker:your entire life, this is for you. And this topic is important
Speaker:to talk about. And this came up recently in a client in a
Speaker:coaching clients, sessions. And I realized that I've never
Speaker:really talked about this particular subject before, on a
Speaker:public note, but this issue is something that we all deal with,
Speaker:on a constant basis, myself included, this is something that
Speaker:needs to be talked about needs to be shared. So here we are. So
Speaker:what we're talking about today is emotional dumping. What is
Speaker:emotional dumping, how to channel it and how to not do it
Speaker:to other people. So basically, emotional dumping is when you
Speaker:have stuff going on inside of you. inside of your body, you
Speaker:have different emotions, different feelings, different
Speaker:thoughts, and you don't really know how to process them very
Speaker:well. And you need to get them out, you need to release them
Speaker:from your body, you need to dump them out of yourself because
Speaker:this energy is just like stuck inside you and it doesn't feel
Speaker:good. So you just need to release it. So I don't have you
Speaker:ever heard of the concept of the chain of yelling. So like a
Speaker:higher up in an organization yells at, you know, a manager, a
Speaker:manager then yells at an employee, an employee then yells
Speaker:at, you know, goes home and yells at their kids, their kids
Speaker:go to school and then start yelling at people. So the chain
Speaker:of yelling is complete emotional dumping, that's the entire
Speaker:chain. It's someone has something inside of them that
Speaker:they need to dump off on to other people. And then once they
Speaker:dump that load on to someone else, that other person is now
Speaker:holding that emotional load inside of them. And so then they
Speaker:need to go and dump it off onto someone else. And then that just
Speaker:continues. This is something that happens all the time in
Speaker:families or loved ones when there are hardships going on.
Speaker:There are challenges there are difficulties happening in the
Speaker:family, someone's going through something really hard something
Speaker:that is difficult is trying time and they need to be able to
Speaker:speak to someone they need to be able to release what they're
Speaker:feeling, what they're going through what's happening inside
Speaker:of them because it is very important to release it is
Speaker:extremely important to get out what you're feeling what you're
Speaker:thinking. But you have to be really careful because you can
Speaker:really negatively impact Other people, depending on how you are
Speaker:emotionally dumping, depending on what state of mind, the
Speaker:person who you're dumping on is whether or not they're aware
Speaker:that of the energetic exchange that's going on or not. Because
Speaker:if they're not aware of the energetic exchange that's going
Speaker:on, they're just absorbing your emotional dumping. And all of a
Speaker:sudden, now they have this need to dump on other people. I'm
Speaker:sure you've experienced this before, have you ever had
Speaker:someone who just got really frustrated at you, and you
Speaker:couldn't figure out why. And then it just put you off in this
Speaker:other kind of weird space, and you find yourself going off on
Speaker:someone else. Or maybe it's not necessarily like they're going
Speaker:off on you, maybe it's just, they're having to release what
Speaker:they're going through at that moment. And maybe you start to
Speaker:feel like you're carrying their weight as well, you feel like
Speaker:you are now having this the same burden that they are carrying.
Speaker:And
Speaker:the thing
Speaker:with emotional dumping is, one, it's extremely important to be
Speaker:able to dump emotions. Just because you don't want to keep
Speaker:that negativity inside of you, you don't want to keep those
Speaker:thoughts and all of that stuff inside of you, you do need to
Speaker:let it out. But the second thing about emotional dumping is it
Speaker:can also
Speaker:be very dangerous
Speaker:to other people like in ways that we can't necessarily see or
Speaker:understand at the moment. So I'm going to just dive into this
Speaker:concept more how you can become a channel when people are
Speaker:dumping on you how you can become a channel so that you're
Speaker:not perpetuating the chain of yelling, you're not perpetuating
Speaker:the emotional dumping, and you're actually allowing this
Speaker:person to release without absorbing. And then I'm also
Speaker:going to talk about how you can dump your emotions, how you can
Speaker:release this pent up stuff energy, without doing it to
Speaker:others and without it affecting others. You might be asking,
Speaker:Why
Speaker:do you want to teach me how to channel it. But then you're also
Speaker:going to teach me how to not do it to others? Why can't I just
Speaker:like teach others how to not dump on me and how they should
Speaker:do it?
Speaker:Well, the thing is,
Speaker:that's not always something that is possible to do. People are
Speaker:not necessarily as quote unquote, woke as you, most
Speaker:people are not in the same headspace as you and not self
Speaker:aware. In fact, the majority of our population is extremely,
Speaker:extremely, not self aware. And you're going to find that there
Speaker:are going to be you know, loved ones in your life, who don't
Speaker:have the self awareness to not dump on you. And they, they
Speaker:don't see it as anything except for them just trying to talk to
Speaker:you about what they're going through or what's going on. So
Speaker:that's why it's important to be able to learn how to be a
Speaker:channel for these people, because it is extremely,
Speaker:extremely important to release those emotions, emotions, those
Speaker:pent up feelings and those thoughts. So you, the last thing
Speaker:that you want is to box them away, put them in a drawer and
Speaker:close it up, because it's just going to resurface as a bigger
Speaker:problem, it's just going to manifest itself in other ways
Speaker:into your life. So we want to, you know, allow people to
Speaker:release this emotion to release it, but we don't want them to.
Speaker:But we don't want we don't want to absorb it. We don't want to
Speaker:then take on that emotional, you know that emotional stress and
Speaker:then go and perpetuate the chain and continue to dump onto
Speaker:others. So I'm just going to give you a quick couple
Speaker:examples. So for example, you know, after school a lot of
Speaker:times when I pick up my daughter, she will emotionally
Speaker:dump on me. And I get it the school day can be a lot It is
Speaker:extremely overstimulating there all kinds of kids all kinds of
Speaker:interactions, all kinds of energetic stuff happening
Speaker:throughout the day at school, that when she gets home, she
Speaker:sometimes can be extremely rude and say things I know that she
Speaker:doesn't mean and just like be in a emotionally unstable Place,
Speaker:but I realize that this is just her process, you know, after
Speaker:1015 minutes at like one more home, when we're alone when
Speaker:we're away from everything, then she will return back to her
Speaker:normal, happy, energetic self, but she has to go through this
Speaker:emotional dumping process just because there was so much
Speaker:emotion so much that she took on throughout the day that she now
Speaker:needs to release it from her body, so that she can even go
Speaker:back to herself. Another example is, you know, with my family of
Speaker:like, sometimes when different things are going on with our
Speaker:family, whether that be someone sick, someone is, you know, in
Speaker:and out of the hospital, and
Speaker:tibbett you know, what
Speaker:the the sick person might dump on someone else, one of our
Speaker:other family members that family member might go and on another
Speaker:family member and it just like, it continues in that way.
Speaker:So how
Speaker:do you channel it? How do you channel these emotional dumpings
Speaker:when people are doing it to you. So the first thing is, you need
Speaker:to realize what's going on, you need to realize, Oh, this person
Speaker:is dumping right now. So basically, that's their
Speaker:complaint. It's either like a complaint. Um, I mean, you can,
Speaker:you will be able to tell when people are emotionally dumping
Speaker:on you, it's typically complaining about something or
Speaker:speaking about something in a way that obviously is, you know,
Speaker:has been weighed weighing on them, they're obviously holding
Speaker:on to a lot of pent up emotion about whatever the topic is, and
Speaker:they're trying to release it. And in releasing it, they're
Speaker:speaking to you about it, so that they can release it. So the
Speaker:first thing you need to do is you need to identify it. The
Speaker:second thing you need to do is you need to realize that you are
Speaker:playing an extremely important role in that person's life, you
Speaker:are there to help them get rid of this stuff pent up energy
Speaker:that they're feeling that you are there to help be a channel
Speaker:for them. To get rid of this stuck energy that they're
Speaker:holding on to, you are playing an important role. So you The
Speaker:second thing you need to do is you need to understand how
Speaker:important the role that you're playing is. And instead of, you
Speaker:know, maybe getting upset at the person or feeling like upset is
Speaker:not necessarily the right word. But just like feeling like maybe
Speaker:it's a burden to be the one that everyone always goes to with
Speaker:their problems. I know like growing up that was kind of
Speaker:always me is that people, a lot of people would dump their
Speaker:problems on me I was someone that people always felt like
Speaker:they could talk to you really well. And so they would do, they
Speaker:would dump their problems on me. And I think that's one of the
Speaker:reasons why I've learned, you know, kind of this the art of
Speaker:the emotional dump. Because I've had to kind of learn how to
Speaker:channel a lot myself, so that I'm not soaking up the dumping
Speaker:that's happening. Um, so you have identified that they're
Speaker:dumping on you. And you have now realized that your role is
Speaker:important. And now you can be thankful, be thankful that you
Speaker:have this awareness of what's going on, be thankful that you
Speaker:are in the state of mind, but you can be this channel for that
Speaker:person, be thankful for your position. And now this is where
Speaker:we're gonna like start going down a little bit more of the
Speaker:Whoo, energetic quantum path. So at this point, what you're going
Speaker:to want to do is you're going to want to just breathe in and out
Speaker:one or two times, and say a little mantra to yourself, in
Speaker:your head and just, you basically it's going to depend
Speaker:on your specific spiritual beliefs, whether that be source
Speaker:universe, God or any other diety. You're basically just
Speaker:going to say, you know, for me, I would say source or universe,
Speaker:I'd say thank you universe for allowing me to be this channel
Speaker:for persons name. Allow this information to flow through me
Speaker:and back to you source because you have all of the answers.
Speaker:Thank you for watching. calling us to release these emotions.
Speaker:And that's it just like do a couple deep breaths like that.
Speaker:Just like say a little mantra doesn't have to be you know,
Speaker:word for word, the same as that mantra. That's just what I do.
Speaker:But just, you know, say a couple little deep breaths, say a
Speaker:couple deep breaths, take a couple of deep breaths, say your
Speaker:little mantra, basically, just being thankful, being grateful.
Speaker:Understand, coming
Speaker:from a place of awareness, understanding that the role that
Speaker:you're playing is extremely important in this person's life,
Speaker:it is going to help them but you don't have to carry the weight
Speaker:of it. You don't have to carry the weight of it at all, the
Speaker:universe has your back, God has your back, you know,
Speaker:what any,
Speaker:you know, whatever day it you know, all that, well, anything
Speaker:that you believe in, like you are being protected, you're
Speaker:taking care of you don't have to carry the burden alone, you're
Speaker:just there to be a channel, whether you know, even like your
Speaker:ancestors, anything, spirit, anything. There is a force
Speaker:greater than us in this world. That's something that I am
Speaker:unwavering about how that manifests in your life is up to
Speaker:you. But there is a force that's greater than just us human
Speaker:beings on this planet. And use that force, use
Speaker:the Force,
Speaker:allow yourself to just be a channel back to the to the
Speaker:source and, and know that sources going to, to take care
Speaker:of you and reproductive protect you. So that's that it's really
Speaker:simple. That's how you channel it. And then after you're done
Speaker:with, you know, their conversation, you're done.
Speaker:Speaking with
Speaker:that person,
Speaker:again, just take another minute, like, it doesn't have to be a
Speaker:big deal. It doesn't have to be this big, whole hour long
Speaker:frickin ritual thing. Like everyone tries to overcomplicate
Speaker:everything, no, it can literally be like, two or three deep
Speaker:breaths in and out, and just again, thanking yourself for
Speaker:being able to be this channel for that person. And then just
Speaker:stating, again, like, I release this emotional state, I release
Speaker:this energy from my body, and just breathe it in and out. And
Speaker:literally visualize, like, that emotion, that stuff, that energy
Speaker:that they just like, poured into you. Now just imagine that
Speaker:flowing out of you flowing through you, you are not, you
Speaker:know, the pool to collect all of this stuff, you're just the
Speaker:channel, you are just a vessel for it to leave that other
Speaker:person's body.
Speaker:Okay,
Speaker:so now let's talk about how to not do it to others, how are you
Speaker:going to not emotionally dump your shit onto others. Um, now,
Speaker:I do just want to be very clear, like, sometimes you do need to
Speaker:speak it out and talk it out with another human being. Um,
Speaker:so always
Speaker:make sure that the person that you are dumping on is in the
Speaker:right mental space to be able to dump on them. Um, you know,
Speaker:like, don't, it's just, it's everything is really about
Speaker:awareness. Make sure you're not dumping on your kids, they don't
Speaker:understand it, obviously, like, make sure that you're going to
Speaker:someone who has some level of awareness, and you can just
Speaker:straight up tell them like, Are you in a un? Are you in a state
Speaker:of mind right now? Where I can dump on you? Like, ask that
Speaker:question. That's always a good, a good thing, because sometimes
Speaker:it might be a very normally pretty emotionally stable
Speaker:person, but they might be like, going through some shit at that
Speaker:moment. And maybe they're not, it's not a good time for you to
Speaker:dump on that. So before you're gonna dump on someone, unless
Speaker:it's someone like me, who is who's a coach and who, you know,
Speaker:is does more personalized, you know, therapy type sessions, you
Speaker:don't necessarily have to ask me if it's okay to dump on me
Speaker:because that's, you know, what I'm being paid for. But if it's
Speaker:just a friend, or you know, a family member or something like
Speaker:that, just ask them. Are you in an emotionally stable place
Speaker:right now where I can dump on you, or I can dump what I'm
Speaker:going through on you? And if they say, No, don't be offended,
Speaker:because it's nothing personal. It has nothing to do with you.
Speaker:It just has to do with them. And that's, that's, that's fine. So,
Speaker:ask and then just make sure that they understand that you're
Speaker:dumping. If, if that's, you know, what needs to happen, and
Speaker:I believe that sometimes, it doesn't need to happen with
Speaker:another human being because we are humans and we crave
Speaker:connection and that is just Like wired in us, we want to speak to
Speaker:other people about things. And sometimes we need to, like talk
Speaker:it out with a third opinion, right.
Speaker:But
Speaker:for the things that you need to
Speaker:dump, that you don't necessarily need to,
Speaker:you
Speaker:know, tell two other people you don't necessarily need to dump
Speaker:on others. What I suggest for you, is figure out how to dump
Speaker:it for yourself. So for me, like journaling, wow, that has been
Speaker:powerful. journaling is so powerful. The other thing that I
Speaker:do his voice memos, because sometimes my brain is going like
Speaker:way faster than my hand can write. And I just need to get
Speaker:the shout at me, I just need to release it, I just need to get
Speaker:out, get out. And I will just word vomit. And I'll just do a
Speaker:voice memo recording on my phone, whatever, just to like,
Speaker:dump everything that I'm feeling dumped this shit. Again, I don't
Speaker:know if I said it on my podcast, but I know I've said it on
Speaker:Instagram. Sometimes you're going to write down things that
Speaker:aren't positive. That's going to happen in this emotional dumping
Speaker:phase, you're gonna write down shit that's not positive. And I
Speaker:know a lot of manifestation teachers and coaches are like,
Speaker:you should always, you know, write down, you know, positive
Speaker:things like writing is so important to manifestation and
Speaker:like don't attach it to anything negative, I totally get that.
Speaker:But this is a different process, when you are dumping your
Speaker:emotions, you need to just stream of consciousness, write
Speaker:it down, however it's coming, whatever you're feeling, and you
Speaker:just need to release it. A fun practice that you can do is you
Speaker:could even, you know, you can if you're journaling, and you're
Speaker:writing it down, this is you know, a little bit extra. But it
Speaker:can be fun. And it can be like a cool ritual to have is when you
Speaker:are having these emotions that you need to dump, you can dump
Speaker:them, dump them out on paper, write them all out. And then you
Speaker:can actually like burn them and release them into the universe
Speaker:and just kind of do a very similar mantra, little
Speaker:meditation. As I was saying before, if you are becoming a
Speaker:channel for another person, just you know, release those
Speaker:feelings, those emotions back to source, think about that,
Speaker:visualize that as you like, burn the paper or whatever. Again,
Speaker:like totally extra, like not necessary. But the cool thing
Speaker:with this with this process, if you're doing voice memos, or
Speaker:whatever, you can now go back, you know, when you're not in
Speaker:such an emotionally charged state, like maybe the next day
Speaker:or the next couple of days, and you can really listen to it and
Speaker:then you can dissect it. And you can basically poke holes in your
Speaker:emotional state in like the negativity, you can look for
Speaker:anything that you can start poking holes in. That's not
Speaker:true. And that's just going to help with the process
Speaker:completely. So that's emotional dumping. That's how I feel about
Speaker:emotional dumping. That's what it is, look around you, like
Speaker:really look around you, you will start to notice people dumping
Speaker:all over each other all the time. This is something that
Speaker:happens constantly, because like I stated at the beginning, most
Speaker:people are not aware, most people don't really understand
Speaker:what ripple effect their actions have the the complaints will
Speaker:ever they don't. They just don't have the level of awareness that
Speaker:you have, or the you know, it's, it's something that takes time.
Speaker:And now that you are aware, you're gonna start seeing it
Speaker:everywhere. I I'm serious, like especially if you're a parent,
Speaker:you're gonna see it happening at on the playground and like with
Speaker:your kids, like everywhere. So if you enjoyed this episode, it
Speaker:would mean so much to me, if you could share it with one friend
Speaker:who you think would enjoy this episode as well. If there's
Speaker:someone else who you think could benefit from learning about
Speaker:emotional dumping, dumping, either. They're in a position
Speaker:where they are getting dumped on emotionally all the time. And
Speaker:they need to learn how to channel it because maybe they're
Speaker:taking it on and it's weighing them down. Like share this
Speaker:episode with them. Let them know this is how my podcast grows,
Speaker:just trying to get out spread, spread positivity, raise the
Speaker:vibration of this planet and truly make an impact on this
Speaker:world.
Speaker:Thank you for tuning in. Today's episode of The becoming the big
Speaker:me podcasts. If you found value in today's episode, make sure to
Speaker:leave us a review and share this episode with someone who needs
Speaker:to hear this message. That's how our podcast grows. Are you
Speaker:curious about learning more about harnessing the power of
Speaker:your subconscious mind? then join the free rewire challenge
Speaker:where we will dive deep into the subconscious mind how it works
Speaker:and give you some tangible action steps to began rewiring
Speaker:it to serve you go to bit.li slash rewire challenge that
Speaker:bit.li slash rewire challenge. Until next time, I'm your host
